I’m A Patsy gets a Volvo!

My daughter, Teri, who lives in Los Angeles, is moving with her family back to Manhattan. She called and told me she’d like to give me her Volvo. I have a Toyota Echo which is cute and works well, but it’s mainly a young people’s car. I’m not in that category, so thought I’d take her up on the Volvo. I always wondered if there were only three Echos made – I saw one other one once and none since. So, I was excited to be getting a bigger car that might be a tiny bit safer. I couldn’t believe that Teri wanted to do that, but she did. And she wouldn’t take any money for it. How about that? I have very special daughters. I could find no pictures suitable for this posting with a car, so I picked this one that has cars in it and also Teri. She is participating in one of our old neighborhood parades that we had very frequently. She’s dressed as . . . I don’t really know just what, and she has bubble gum splattered all over her nose. All the neighbors would gather on the sidewalks and watch the parades pass by. The guys would be drinking beer all morning in anticipation of the parade, so some were probably passed out by parade time, but everyone had a good time.

But back to the Volvo . . . Teri shipped it up to me from LA to Portland on a truck. It took the guys three hours to load it at her house as she lives in the hills where the streets are all twisty and only about 2 feet wide. This was Thursday night and I talked to them about 11pm and they said they’d be there around 7:30am. They called in the morning and said about 11am. They got here at noon and I had already told them where to park up the street. The two guys couldn’t have been nicer. The one who seemed to be in charge looked like Black Sean on “Rescue Me,” and anyone who reminds me of that show has got to be a great guy! There were two cars on the truck, and the first one had to come off before I could get mine. That one was a black Jaguar that had seen better days. They said it hadn’t been driven in 10 years, and when they rolled it off the truck, they couldn’t get it started to get it out of the middle of the street. So they pushed it and then got mine off. I thanked them and went to start my car. I wanted to move the seat up, but I couldn’t find the handle that you reach down between your legs and pull on. I asked the guys if they could help, and they told me everything was automatic. My Echo had nothing automatic. So they helped me and I even raised the seat up. I drove it across the street to my condo, parked it and went inside and lay down! I was wondering if I’d ever learn what all those buttons were for.

The next morning I got up early and took the car out for a little ride, and I noticed there was hardly any gas in it. I nearly went off the road as I always filled my Echo before it ever got down to ¾ full. Is that OCD or what? So I stopped at our friendly neighborhood gas station that charges an arm and a leg. I told him to fill it up and he did. It was $51!! I almost screamed. That will never happen again as I’ll keep it nearly full all the time. I talked to Teri later in the day and asked her about the gadget you press to unlock the car. I had just randomly been pressing it and sometimes it unlocked or locked. Teri explained in slow, quiet tones that there were little pictures on it – one of an unlocked padlock and one locked. I hadn’t noticed them before and she understood. She knows I never notice anything. And also at the gas station, I tried to open my window so I started pressing things. I could hear windows opening, but not mine. I finally found the right thing to push.

After all that excitement, I decided to come home and lie down again. I think I spent most of the weekend on my back! So thank you, Teri - I love you very much . . . you too, Cindy.

Years ago, my parents retired and moved to the coast. Darrell and I and our girls would go down and visit frequently. They had a big, beautiful dog named Gus that they had had on the farm which they brought with them to their new home at the beach. We all loved Gus – he was gentle and loved everyone. My folks hadn’t raised him from the beginning - he was given to them so we didn’t know his background. But he was the best.

When we’d visit them, he’d go out and run up and down on the beach. He seemed to love the freedom and the broad expanse of sand which he could cover in no time at all. Everyone was very happy with the way things were, but then something happened. I don’t remember the circumstances, but my brother told me that every so often, Gus would tear up into the trees when he was walking with my dad. He’d dash up there, be gone a few minutes and then run back. He seemed very happy after his little excursions, so he and my dad would continue on their walks. He didn’t do it all the time, so there was no reason for concern. He always came back, so there was no worry that he was going to run away. But it finally came out that Gus wasn’t just sight-seeing, he was killing sheep. Who knew there were sheep up there, but I guess there were because someone recognized Gus and told the owners. The owners spoke to my dad, and shortly thereafter Gus was moved to a farm way out in the country where he could run and live a good life. I hope it wasn’t a sheep ranch! We all missed Gus as we thought he was special, and I guess he was in his own way. The picture is of Gus, Teri and Darrell on the sand.

“Parade” magazine – my information source

I just began reading an article entitled “Is Anything Private Anymore?” Just reading the title made me have to run to the bathroom. As I was sitting there, I scanned the ceiling and walls for anyplace through which someone could be observing me or filming me with a Webcam or whatever it is they use. And if they were, would it be on the internet before I was even off the toilet? It was very unsettling and caused me to hurry up with what I was doing. I may have to go back.

The article tells of a man in San Francisco who hid his smoking habit by smoking on the street outside his office. Well, that didn’t last long for him. An online mapping service that provides ground-level photographs caught him smoking, and if that weren’t bad enough, Google’s Street View project caught him smoking again. It’s safe to say that when we’re out in public, someone will capture us on some type of camera and our picture will be available to millions around the world in a manner of seconds . . . all this thanks to our wonderful internet. My daughter is moving back to Manhattan and I’ll be visiting her from time to time. I used to love walking around Greenwich Village and those parts when she lived there before, but now I’ll have to be very careful when I walk the streets, so to speak. I’m sure the city is drowning in many types of surveillance, so that means I should never smoke on the street, adjust my panties, pick my nose, keep my legs together when I sit at street cafes, be sure to wear panties . . . there are too many things to mention that I might do, but won’t do now if I can remember.

Our privacy is a thing of the past. There is facial recognition and we are routinely being recorded by security cameras. During the 2001 Super Bowl, fans were scanned by cameras linked to facial-recognition software. The purpose was to find suspected terrorists, but it’s a chilling thought to think that we are being scanned anyplace, anytime.

Another chilling fact is that our personal information is now available to almost anyone in the world. When I call for help with my TV or maybe my computer, I may get someone in China whom I can barely understand. And she may want my address, and possibly a credit card number and who knows what else. I don’t like giving out any information, but sometimes it’s impossible to get around it. All these companies sell our information to other companies, so everyone knows everything about us. We are all in a giant database somewhere, and the thought of that makes me extremely uncomfortable.

But what I’d like to know is with all this frenzy about security in this country and being watched all the time, why haven’t they put some of their efforts into finding Osama bin Laden? When I say “they,” I mean George Bush. When he said “Mission Accomplished,” what in the hell was he talking about? I thought bin Laden was the mission. But then, what do I know? I’m too busy trying to keep myself from being scanned.

“Monk” and “Psych” season finales

Last night I watched the season finales of both of those shows. I have thoroughly enjoyed each one this season. Mr. Monk is a used-to-be detective for the San Francisco police department but was let go after his wife, Trudy, was murdered, and he developed severe OCD . . . so severe it’s uncomfortable to watch at times. And yet, it could be extremely funny! Last night he saw a woman on the street, face to face, and began chasing her after she had walked away. He didn’t know why, but he just had to find her. He didn’t sleep for three days as he was obsessed with finding her. Of course, along the way he managed to solve a crime which he does quite well despite his OCDishness. In the closing moments of the show, he finds the woman and notices a tattoo on her arm which was the exact date of his wife’s death. She tells him that’s the day she began living as she received corneal transplants and could see again. It turns out Trudy was an organ donor, and she received Trudy’s corneas. Monk looks into her eyes for a long time and finally seems at peace with himself. The show ends with Monk lying on his bed in his clothes, sound asleep. I thought it was a very sweet and touching ending to a quirky, funny show.

And then I watched “Psych.” I have really liked this show. Shawn (James Roday) and Gus (Dule Hill) are two guys who help the police fight crime. Shawn is a pretend psychic and Gus is his sidekick. What I like about it is the lightning fast repartee that goes on between the two of them. It goes so quickly that you have to be listening very carefully to catch it all. Some of it is hysterically funny with references to things not everyone would understand. I get a huge kick out of it! I’ve always noticed the bright blue little car they tear around the countryside in. It wasn’t until last night when someone on the show said something about their “little, blue, kiddie car Echo” or something like that, I nearly jumped off my couch! I have a little, gray, kiddie car Echo and that’s why I thought the car looked familiar. I guess it’s really a Yaris which is the new edition of the Echo. I’m hoping they have the same car next year and that they are just as funny as this year.

“Rescue Me” season finale

I think this last episode was a precursor of things to come next year. The episode was filled with scenes of the guys doing their things – going on emergency calls, joking in the squad room and Lou being funny as he always is. He has the best lines of anyone in the show. But each scene seemed to be leading to something that will be happening in the future. Tommy goes to see Janet and you can tell he’s still in love with her, and she seems to feel the same way, but nothing happens.

In the last scene there is a montage of pictures as the camera rolls, all to the music of “Let the Good Times Roll.” Sheila finds her dead husband’s jacket (Jimmy Keefe, firefighter, who died in the Towers at 9/11). She had heard the guys had seen a ghost as they had seen someone in the jacket at fires and in the fire house. It was Tommy who wore it when he was going through some bad times emotionally. When she finds it, hidden in a closet in the fire house, she’s inconsolable and sobs as she holds it. Black Sean has a picnic with Colleen in the park which will probably infuriate Tommy next year. We see Chief Feinberg filling out a Section 8 form for Tommy Gavin. Does this mean the Chief will be back next year? Maybe he could have an accident and be put on disability or shipped off to a nursing home. Just get him out of there! We see Richie, Natalie’s brother, who is an idiot savant and mentally ill, marrying his girlfriend in the wheelchair. Franco is there and gives Richie his ring he had for Natalie until she pulled a fast one on him. Natalie will be furious when she finds out. We see Janet at a café with new boyfriend, Bob, and little Wyatt/Elvis. She suddenly notices a little stud in his ear that Sheila had done, and Janet doesn’t look too happy. We see Tommy and his dad at a minor league baseball game. His dad had asked Tommy to take him to a minor league game rather than the Yankees. Sean, Uncle Teddy and Lou are sitting up above them. All of a sudden, Tommy realizes his dad isn’t saying anything. In fact, he’s slumped over and apparently dead. Tommy sits there with him as the music and scene end.

There’s going to be a lot going on the next season from the looks of what happened last night. I'll be waiting!

“The Closer” season finale

Last night was the end of “The Closer” for another year. I’m sorry it won’t be on for a while – I’d watch it if they had a marathon every weekend. In this episode a lot of questions were answered in the case Brenda Leigh was working on, and it turned out that she was right all along. And it also straightened things out in her love life. My daughter, Teri, had said she thought Brenda might have an affair next season. I was horrified at that; she has no time for an affair. But she found out Fritz had a couple of DUIs five years ago and was totally pissed at him. So they argued and she was pretty hard on him. After all, it was five years ago, and he hadn’t drunk anything since and was in AA. He really deserved a break.

So the case was settled in court with Brenda Leigh’s information proving to be true, and she and her squad went out to celebrate. Sargent Gabriel toasted Brenda, and Brenda tried to toast her squad but got all choked up. I loved this scene. Then they started drinking the champagne, but Lieutenant Flynn had something non-alcoholic. Brenda said, “No champagne?” And Flynn answered, “Ten years in AA. You see, Chief, when I used to drink, I could be a little bit of an asshole.” Brenda had a thoughtful look on her face, and then Flynn winked at her. She looked at him as if she understood. Did he know about Fritz and his DUIs? I love the rapport Brenda has with her squad – it seems very special to me.

So she went home and made up with Fritz. Now I won’t have to wonder about that all winter. I hope she keeps her own car insurance and also her own bank account separate from his. That’s just what I think. I’ll miss them all.

Audrey III and her big, red tomato

The above picture is of the first red tomato from Audrey III, the plant in my computer room. I had earlier called her Audrey II, but I’d forgotten that name was already taken by the plant in “Little Shop of Horrors.” I’d earlier written that I didn’t think I’d ever have any tomatoes on Audrey, but now I have about 12! I guess my artificial insemination skills were pretty good.

Audrey is right next to me as I sit at my computer. She covers all the windows in the room facing south which is good for her. I love sitting here with Audrey to my left as she spreads across the room. I’m wondering if she’ll ever stop growing – I hate to think of taking her down. I don’t think tomato plants are usually grown in the house . . . probably never. I told the people at my garden shop about it, and they thought it was wild! I’ll take them some pictures and maybe even a tomato.

Audrey III has been growing since last March, and my neighbors give it curious looks as they walk by. Most of them know what it is, but they think it’s pretty weird and funny. They’ve never seen anything like it. They don’t know me well enough. I like weird and funny things and can’t imagine how dull life would be if I didn’t. Most of my friends know this about me. The condo next door is for sale, and I met the realtor and prospective buyers outside the other day. They asked me questions, and I told them I lived next door. The woman then said, “Oh, you’re the one who has those funny things on the window sill in the kitchen.” I told her they were Pez dispensers and then had to explain what they were. I should have invited them in to see Audrey and my huge nude painting of a woman that my nephew painted in an art class. The woman is reclining on pillows, and you can see her dirty feet – my nephew explained she was someone off the street who needed the money and probably didn’t have the best hygiene. On second thought, I don’t think I’ll let any prospective buyers inside my house. And who in the world doesn’t know what a Pez dispenser is?

But back to Audrey . . . I’ll be writing more about her as time goes on. I wish I could have a picture of the entire plant, but it’s not possible. But I’ll write if there are any new developments and possibly put up another picture of more tomatoes. I’ve never experienced anything like this before, and I’m loving it. And what did I do with the first tomato that’s in the picture? I kept it for a while and took many pictures of it on a white place mat. It’s almost as if it were a child that I had nurtured for months and was posing for the perfect picture. I finally realized I had to move on as we all do as our kids grow up, and since there was only one thing left to do . . . I ate it!

“Rescue Me” – 9/5/07

I think Tommy’s moving toward a meltdown or implosion . . . actually the same thing. He’s being very erratic and doing crazy things. He finds Jimmy Keefe’s firefighter jacket -- Jimmy was his cousin who died in the Towers on 9/11 while Tommy made it out unscathed. Tommy wears the jacket and hides in trucks from other squads. He jumps out at the fire destination, rushes into the building without being seen by the crew and rescues someone. He brings the person out and then disappears in the crowd. Jimmy used to appear to Tommy as a ghost and they’d have long conversations, but that has ended. Now is Tommy trying to be Jimmy?

The rest of his crew is having problems. Lou is screwing his brother’s big, black lady friend because she cooks so well, and he can’t give that up. Franco’s having trouble with his ex-girlfriend and Black Sean is fighting with Mike who is no longer a Probie – Black Sean is now. Colleen’s boyfriend dumped her (I had been calling her Kathleen which was very wrong) and she, of course, blames her dad for finding out and just about everything else. Gina Gershon (Valerie) gives Tommy shit for not thinking they’re having a relationship. Tommy feels like it’s just a booty call as he’s there for only about 5 minutes, and Valerie says that most guys would think that’s an ideal relationship.

Mickey Gavin, the ex-priest and AA leader, thinks maybe Tommy and he should just go to regular meetings. He’s worried about Tommy and his search for religion and spiritualism. Possibly Tommy needs help? That’s an understatement! But Tommy says he needs the family one with all the fighting and mayhem. They have a family meeting again that doesn’t go well, and vote to never have another one for three years!

Chief Feinberg gives Tommy shit every chance he gets. I don’t like that man and hope he’s gone by the next season. Anyway, he’s on Tommy’s case this week for, among other things, molesting his daughter on their date. Tommy says he didn’t molest her, he just gave her a hug and accidentally brushed his hand across her tit. This infuriates Feinberg who shouts that if Tommy ever touches his daughter again, he’ll crucify him. Tommy replies that if he ever touches his daughter again, he’ll crucify himself.

Some of the other firefighters are saying they’ve seen someone wearing a jacket with Keefe written on the back. The see him at a fire, but never his face, and he doesn’t stick around when things are done. They’re wondering if they’re crazy or what. In the last scene, Tommy, in Jimmy Keefe’s jacket, saves a horny young woman during a fire, finally managing to get her out of the worst part and leaving her for the other firefighters. She tells them some cute guy with sandy hair rescued her and they all say that sounds like Tommy. Lou is standing on the sidelines and saying nothing, but he knows what’s going on.

Tommy is definitely unraveling and needs help which may possibly come from his father. There’s so much about his life that needs changing. I would hope that the show can get back to the squad room where all the guys sit and talk and joke around. I think those scenes are some of the funniest and best-written scenes of the shows. Of course, Tommy needs to clean up his act. Also, GET RID OF CHIEF FEINBERG!!

“Damages” - 9/4/07

I just finished watching this episode from last night and have come to the conclusion that most of the players are becoming more corrupt and devious each week, and those that aren’t will probably be killed off fairly soon. I have never watched a show that kept me so glued to the screen in fear of missing some important event. It’s fun to see the transformation of Ellen who has become much more animated – not the listless person I described in earlier installments. She is also becoming more like Patty Hewes which was to be expected but which I find to be sort of sad.

All the characters are mysterious, but Arthur Frobisher is a real crackpot. He was having a ghost writer write a book about his life, hoping it would take away from all his bad publicity with the trial. But he was telling him about his Boy Scout days and the little things he made which were supposed to show his integrity and also about his dyslexia. The ghost writer was not impressed and Frobisher got angry and abusive and broke his nose. The book was forgotten.

The Man with Stroller is showing up more and more and things are coming to a head with the case, especially concerning Gregory. Is David really having an affair with the hospital girl whose grandpa is actually still alive although she told David he died and also stole David’s set of keys? I doubt it. And who was the girl from the bar who tried to kill Gregory on the street but was shot just before she could do it?

I don’t know what the hell is going on, but I know I can’t miss any of the episodes. Once you start “Damages,” it grabs you and won’t let go until the end.

“The Closer” marathon – Labor Day

I spent yesterday watching the marathon. I’d seen all the episodes before, but I think I liked them even better the second time around. I love everything about that show and want it to keep on the same way for years to come. My daughter, Teri, in LA, was also watching it, and she called me before the last two episodes and asked if I thought Brenda Lee and Fritz would get married. I said I didn’t know about marriage, but I thought they’d stay together. But Teri said she wondered if Brenda might have an affair sometime down the road next season. I was horrified! I don’t like change of any kind, and that just didn’t set well with me. Does Teri know something I don’t, and why don’t I know the same thing? But during the last episode when Fritz wanted her to pool their money in one account . . . well, that sent up a red flag for me. And when she tried to put their car insurance on one policy – now why in the world would she do that – she found out he had a couple DUIs five years ago. So previews of the last episode next week show them fighting about trust and all that stuff. Is Brenda going to dump Fritz? Teri thought she might have an affair with Pope. SHE’S ALREADY DONE THAT!! She should never do that again. I don’t want her to leave Fritz, and certainly not for an affair with Pope. She has no time to date other men, so I think they should work out their problems. I also think she should have her own bank account . . . just in case.

I wasn’t that crazy about the episode last night with the courtroom scenes. I like them just the way they are, investigating crimes and doing things in the squad room. I hope next year they stick to that. If they need any help with that, they can always call on me.

I love nearly all animals, but there are two that really scare me . . . spiders and bees. I guess they aren’t classified as animals, but they still scare me. If a bee flies into my house, I immediately run out into the street and will even stop a car and drag someone out to come in and kill it for me! I have done that – not actually in the street, but I did grab a strange man outside on the sidewalk. I don’t mean he was “strange” strange – it’s just that I didn’t know him. But he killed the bee for me and then went on his way. I can take care of spiders pretty well in the house, but it’s quite a process. I’m not one of those people who say, “Oh, let’s take the little spider outside – we’ll slide some paper under him, put a glass over him and free him outside where he’ll be happy.” That’s not my style. If I see a spider on the wall – even if it’s 2am – I run to the closet and get my vacuum. I find the long hose attachment, turn on the vacuum, spray some raid into it and suck up the little beast. I don’t harm spiders outside . . . just in my house.

The other day I had a horrifying experience. I was in the bedroom and went over to the sink, and there was a spider in it! I immediately ran water on it and washed it down the drain . . . or so I thought. Quite a while later, I went back to the bathroom sink and there were big, black hairy legs crawling out of the drain! I was horrified again, and this time I turned on the hot water and let it run a long time to make sure he wouldn’t be crawling up again. I had never seen anything like that before, and it makes me wonder if there are a bunch of spiders in the bathtub drain, just waiting to crawl up and attack me! I’ve washed quite a few down there. I’ll be watching. I did the above illustration myself of the spider crawling up and out. I know it’s not very good, but I couldn’t get anyone with any talent to do it for me.

I’ve been hearing a lot about the giant spider web that spreads over several acres of a North Texas park. Webs like that aren’t usually seen in the US as they are most often built by communal spiders that live in the tropics. This one is drawing attention from all over the world – some people are repulsed by it and others think it’s beautiful. It apparently has a fetid odor which is probably the result of all the insects captured in it. Can you imagine walking into something like that – thousands of spiders working while you struggle to get out? That’s almost worse than the spider in the drain!