Awesome!

Last Saturday I had a hair appointment on the other side of town, so I thought I’d leave early and stop at the garden shop where I could buy some herbs and seed potatoes for my garden on the deck. I got in my Volvo and hoped things would go well with it. I never know! It seemed a little hard to drive, sort of like it did when I had all the trouble with it several months ago. I kept going, but I realized it was extremely hard to steer. I had to grasp the steering wheel very hard, because if I didn’t, the car would veer off to the left. I kept checking the brake and everything I could think of, but nothing helped. I just knew I’d better keep a firm grasp on the steering wheel if I wanted to stay on the road. I got all the way to the garden shop, got out and bought what I needed and went back to the car. It was then that I saw the left front tire. It was flatter than a pancake! I had driven a couple of miles on a very flat tire. I know now that’s what it feels like to drive with a flat tire, so I’ll be prepared for the next time. Why didn’t I know what was happening? Should I tear up my license and turn myself in for being stupid?

I called my towing company who said they would be over shortly. They asked if I had a spare, and I said I didn’t know as I’d never looked. So I hung up and found where the spare should be, and there it was. So I called back and told the girl that I’d found the spare, and she said, “Awesome!” I had to agree; it was pretty awesome. So when the guy got there to change the tire, he couldn’t get the flat one off! He had to sit down on the ground, brace himself, and yank and yank, finally getting the tire off. He told me, after he caught his breath, that the flat one had rusted on to something. That’s why it was so hard to remove. Before the tow truck arrived, a man stopped and offered to help me change the tire. I told him help was on the way, but he was very nice to offer. The poor guy had no idea what would have been ahead for him with the rust and everything! That was a random act of kindness by the man, so I’m thinking maybe I should contact NBC as they are always putting on videos of things like that. Unfortunately, I don’t have a video so will forget it.

I then called my mechanic’s shop and told Ken, the manager, that it was Patsy with the Volvo calling. Ken said “I know who you are.” They know me well over there. So I drove the car very carefully to their shop which is right near where I live. I wasn’t too sure about driving on the doughnut, but I went slowly and carefully. Ken looked at the tire and found a nail in it – surprise, surprise! So I left the old tire there and I’m sure they buried it as it was dead. Today I went back and bought two new front tires. I asked about keeping the good front tire as a spare, but you have to have the frame, or whatever they call it, to go with it. I asked if that was free, and he assured me it wasn’t. So I just kept the doughnut. I asked if I could do “layaway” like everyone is doing now, but he said no. So I came home. He told me he didn’t want to see me again for a long time – he said it in a nice way, I think.

My tire experience was actually pretty awesome. It could have been shitty, but I guess I was in a good mood. That always helps.

My short career in Washington DC

When I was in college, I was recruited by the CIA to work for them providing I passed all the information gathering they were doing . . . is that like vetting? Whatever it was, I passed and awaited my orders to travel across the country to Washington DC. It took them all summer and into winter before they were done. I had no back taxes which I hadn’t paid as I had no taxes at all, and I’d never hired an illegal nanny to care for me, so I was very easy to investigate. So why did it take them so long? My dad did hire Mexicans to help with the crops, and I assume they were illegal, otherwise why were helicopters flying over our orchard at different times and why were the Mexicans scurrying all over the place? I guess the CIA didn’t care what my dad was doing . . . or maybe they didn’t know. Too bad the government doesn’t spend that much time picking cabinet and staff members. I had never been on a plane, so when the time came to go, it was quite an experience. All I knew was that I had to report to a certain hall on a certain morning, so I flew in the day before. Being the simple country girl that I was, I figured the “hall” was going to be a dormitory for women employees. I spent the first night at the YWCA, and then traveled to the hall with my huge trunk which held all my belongings. Upon arrival, I was told that this was a place of business and not a dormitory, so I had to find my own place of residence. I was quite embarrassed, to say the least.

I spent a few nights at the YWCA, and then two other girls and I went apartment hunting. Our big mistake was doing it at night when we couldn’t see the surroundings, so we ended up in a basement apartment with bars on the windows. We were glad we had the bars when we discovered where we were. It was not a good part of town . . . actually, it was a very bad part of town. When we walked down the streets in our neighborhood, little kids would run along beside us asking for money. We never gave them any as we had none ourselves. At night, strange people would bang on our door looking for someone other than one of us. It was scary times quite often.

My work there was very dull and nothing complicated. The three of us went to parties and always told people we worked for the Bureau of Indian Affairs so they wouldn’t know where we worked. But I imagine everyone at those parties also worked where we did. It was sort of our little secret. My boyfriend back home wanted to get married, but I wanted to see things I hadn’t seen before so was in no hurry to return. But he eventually sent me a ring in the mail. He was no dummy and knew there was no way I’d send it back. I kept it, and I’m glad I did as I did marry him and had two beautiful daughters. But in the meantime, I met many people there, but would never date anyone as I was engaged with a ring and everything. I pulled the same stunt when I worked at Crater Lake one summer and was going with a guy in college. I wouldn’t date anyone at the lake as I was being true to my sweetie back home whom I found out later was not being true to me! Why did I ever let myself get sucked into those situations? One guy in DC was the silverware salesman who liked me and would come by frequently. I wouldn’t go out with him, but I would let him brush my hair – I had long hair and loved to have it brushed. I think I did the same thing at Crater Lake. I seem to have had my hair brushed all over the country by nice guys . . . sort of like foreplay with no resolution. Too bad I wouldn’t let things go any further than just hair brushing. But then, I said I was simple. I’m not simple anymore.

The picture is of me sitting between the lion’s paws in front of Union Station in DC. I notice my hair is down – maybe I was expecting a gentleman caller. I was crazy in those days and still am, but with short hair which isn’t the same as brushing long hair.

I finally came home after spending only about 7 months there. The government wasted a lot of money on me, but they seem to be able to do that quite easily. I was married a couple months later and we all lived happily ever after. Well . . . not quite, but I do have two wonderful daughters.

What would Jerry do?

Some people ask “What would Jesus do,” but there are so many episodes of “Seinfeld” with which I can identify, that I use Jerry. I don’t have any Jesus episodes. I was wondering about what to do this past weekend as I didn’t feel good. I decided Jerry would have just lain around, so that’s what I did. I lay on my couch (bed) and watched Larry taking over my deck. I started feeding Larry (sparrow) the first of January, and he’s still here. Since I started I have added a mirror on the deck which he looks in frequently – once he even pecked at it. I also made a sort of birdbath out of a pie plate since I don’t make pies anymore – does anybody? Larry spends most of every afternoon and sometimes mornings on the deck, hopping all over it and pooping as he goes. He flips the birdseed all over the deck, so it’s becoming quite a mess. How did this happen? When did my deck become an aviary without my knowing it?

I finally decided I’d catch up on some reading so picked up “Vanity Fair” and began reading the article by Mark Seal, contributing editor of the magazine, about Bernie Madoff. I had already heard all about the evil Bernie and read many articles, but this one was very revealing and made it quite clear just how evil that little man is. He ruined so many people over the years and didn’t seem to care about what he was doing. He wasn’t a warm person and had no use for the “little people” or so it seems. I found it interesting that he was an OCD person like Monk on the television show. Only I think he was more OCD than Monk if that’s even possible. He was a despicable character who got away with the Ponzi scheme, and I’ll never understand how that could have happened. Will it happen again and is it happening right now someplace? Probably so.

I needed some cheering up after that, so I turned on TV and watched “Desperate Housewives.” That show is becoming sillier every time I see it. I think it’s jumping the shark or has already jumped. I used to find it pretty amusing, but the plots are way out in left field now. In fact, there aren’t that many plots that make sense. So I needed something else to make me feel good on this day that I did nothing useful.

I turned on a show that was new last year that snagged me as a viewer when I first saw it. It’s the AMC show “Breaking Bad” with Bryan Cranston as a teacher/cancer victim/meth maker/ and meth dealer. Bryan was the father in “Malcolm in the Middle” where he was this crazy guy who was extremely funny, and nothing like he is in the new show. Last night was only the second show for this season, but it was the most horrifying and terrifying episode of anything I’ve ever seen! It had me on the edge of my seat (couch) the entire time. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Bryan is some actor, and so was Raymond Cruz who played a bad, bad guy. When the last scene was over, there was a little extra something put in that gave me chills!

By then I was feeling better so settled down on my bed (couch) and went to sleep. There’s nothing like a horrifying TV show to settle me down.

Fun Times!

I’ve been writing my blog for quite some time, and it’s usually about my daughters and their families, my parents and other family members, the animals I’ve had and sometimes about current events or politics. So I’m writing this one to show that I’ve had a life myself throughout the years.

After my divorce, it wasn’t easy to begin dating. I don’t think I ever actually did. I felt like George Costanza’s mother on “Seinfeld” when she horrified George by telling him she was “out there” now that she was separated and had had an eye job. George was “out there” already and didn’t want to run into his mother. Seems like there’s always a “Seinfeld” episode to fit a time in your life . . . or maybe my life. But I did become involved a few times which is sort of like dating, but not quite. Anyway, I met the guy in the photo at a local gathering place . . . okay, I met him in a bar. He was from a foreign country . . . Canada is foreign, isn’t it? The picture wasn’t posed, obviously, but I like it as it brings back good memories. Someone took it while he was visiting me here in town. I’d visit him in Canada, and he’d show me all around Victoria, BC. I saw many interesting places and some beautiful scenery. We had some good times together, but there was a distance problem. So it ended. A few years later, I realized I had been a cougar before that term was ever in use. I was a pioneer in that process!

I later became involved with a guy from Louisiana which actually is a foreign country . . . a very strange and interesting country. But I realized there was no way I could live where it’s so humid and where fighting cocks live in little, tiny A-frame houses along the highway. So that didn’t work out. It was fun, though, to pull in to drive-in places that didn’t sell espressos - they sold frozen daiquiris! I don’t drink coffee, so I thought those little establishments were a novel idea. But it was not meant to be. He soon married a woman he’d known all his life who lived right there and just wanted to take care of him. I have a full-time job just taking care of myself!

At the present time, my only relationship is with Larry. It’s a good relationship. I put his food out on the deck and he spends a lot of his time there. It’s the kind of relationship where you don’t have to fight over the remote. Larry does watch TV sometimes from the deck. One of these days it would be fun to have a relationship with a guy who might take me to a movie or just go for a walk together. I might even let him come in the house occasionally. I don’t have any of that with Larry. After all, he is just a sparrow.

Don’t Eat Where You Poop!

A wise man made that statement many years ago – it may have been Abraham Lincoln or possibly Gore Vidal. I heard it again a few days ago, and it got me to thinking about my sparrow, Larry – he isn’t actually mine, he just lives on my deck quite a bit of the time, so I call him mine. HE IS MINE! . . . . So . . . . I’ve written about him recently on my blog and even included a picture of him. But about his eating arrangements . . . I have a planter box that was filled with potting soil, waiting for me to plant spring flowers. But that’s where I’ve been putting Larry’s birdseed. He gets in it and scratches around and has a great time. But he also poops in it, and I don’t know how good that is for him. So yesterday I scraped off the top layer of soil, poop and birdseed and threw it way. Then I put in new soil and birdseed. He’s been scratching around in it ever since. It’s a mystery to me why he has been here so long and why always alone. Maybe he’ll be like my last Larry, the pigeon, who stayed with me for several months and then appeared with a girlfriend, showed her off to me and left – never to be seen again. Maybe I don’t manage long-term relationships all that well. We’ll see how long this one lasts. I couldn’t find a picture of me holding a sparrow, so I found an old one of me holding a bullfrog. I always liked bullfrogs and raised one from a tadpole to a big frog in a fish pond on my deck a few years ago. But then a raccoon ate all the fish and the frog. Just another crazy animal experience for me.

This morning I put out more birdseed for Larry and also a mirror. I put the mirror on the floor of the deck near the planter box where he eats. I’m wondering what he’ll think of that. It’s upright so he can see himself if he walks by. But can birds see themselves in mirrors? We’ll see. After that I decided to go to a movie, and I saw "The Reader" which was quite an experience. It was a very good movie, and Kate Winslet deserved the Oscar for it, but I could find not one good characteristic in the person she portrayed. The people whose lives she touched were worse off than before – some were even dead. It must have been incredibly difficult for her to play a character without one redeeming quality, but then, that’s why Kate is such a good actor.

Upon my arrival home from the movie, I turned on the Sci Fi channel and watched "Megasnake" with Michael Shanks. Michael is my grandson Harry’s favorite actor. The movie was an old one and quite terrible. But Michael’s career has become much better since then and now appears on top-rated shows. Many of our present-day actors got their starts in movies about giant snakes, spiders, ants, worms, etc. But most of them went on to bigger and better things. But those goofy, old movies are sometimes fun to watch, and I ended my day in a pretty good mood.