I'm A Patsy - Gotta Problem With That?

Sunday, October 31, 2010


Mom’s getting her batteries charged!

I’m going to the hospital in a couple days for new batteries in my old pacemaker . . . or maybe a new pacemaker. The doctor won’t decide until he opens me up and I won’t know until I wake up. I hate when that happens – I like to be in control, and for a while I won’t be. I’m taking a corrected DNR with me as my old one had old addresses for my daughters, and they would be the ones to pull the plug if needed. They move occasionally so I updated everything. They don’t always answer the phone either, so I hope they won’t be needed. It would take Teri a while to get here as she’s back in New York. Cindy will be here with me so she would answer her cell phone . . . although sometimes she turns it off. This whole business is getting to me! Cindy was with me for the first one and it was wonderful having her here. She asked me the other day if she’d have to take an icky bandage off me and I told her no. She did that for my cancer surgery.

When I had breast cancer, both girls were with me. I had to stay overnight and the girls went shopping while I got bored in the hospital. Teri bought some “cancer” pants at a store she now calls the cancer pants store. When I called to tell her I was going in for a charge-up, she said she wished she could be with me but just couldn’t come right now. She said if she did she’d get some “pacemaker” pants. I wish that could have happened. Maybe she can find some in New York.

I love my girls so much. They make me laugh and really keep me going. I wish they lived here as I really miss them. But I moved to Wash. D.C. right after college, never giving a thought as to how much my parents would miss me. What a bitch I was! So I guess I can’t fault my daughters for doing the same thing.

The picture is of Cindy, Teri and Harry at the coast in 1996. The girls are so pretty and Harry is so plump! I love it.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

“Raising Hope” – Fox show Tuesday, 9pm – 10pm, Tuesday, October 26

I just previewed their Halloween episode and it’s wild! This show is centered around Jimmy’s little baby girl who is just a few months old. The mother was executed in prison, so Jimmy is the caretaker. He didn’t really know the mother, so there was nothing sad about it. Jimmy’s mother, played by Martha Plimpton, is good in this as is Cloris Leachman who is the grandma, but goes by Maw Maw. Maw Maw thinks Jimmy is her husband which makes for some crazy, mixed-up times! She runs around in her white bra and not much else. You might wonder how a little child could have a decent upbringing in such a crazy household, but you then realize all the family members are good people even if they are strange in some ways. Sort of like a normal family that loves each other.

In this episode Maw Maw puts on her Halloween costume backwards so the topless back is in the front. The mother gets upset and tells her to go out on the porch as it’s her turn to watch for Japanese airplanes. She obviously lives in the past. The mom says she looks like a transvestite ninja which she actually does!

The episode continues with more ridiculous happenings and makes for a very funny Halloween show. I would think anyone would enjoy it – I know I did!

Sunday, October 17, 2010


What is this?

I did my usual potato planting this spring, even though I haven’t had much luck in the past years. But I had two big pots on my back deck where the birds eat and poop, so I cut up some of my store-bought potatoes and planted them. I didn’t want anyplace where I could plant some food going to waste. These days we try to grow as much of our own food as possible which will save us money. Also, that way we’ll know the food is coming from right here and not some foreign country. I have nothing against foreign countries. Most of my clothes are either made or “assembled” in a foreign country – probably by little children working in sweat-shop conditions. I try not to think about that when I wear the clothes. I also planted some rosemary which I never ate, some chives which I did eat occasionally and some parsley. This morning I threw them all in the garbage as they were all worn out!

As for the potatoes, I decided to see if I had grown any. Last year there were lots of plants that came up but very few potatoes – and they were very small, actually pretty tiny. This year there were no plants coming up except this one weed. I decided to just let it grow, so I watered it and waited for my potatoes to start sending up plants. They never did. So the other day I dug into one of the pots and found the old potato pieces I had planted in the spring! There were no sprouts on them. They were all dried up and icky. But the weed is going strong! I decided to take a picture of it and it’s on this blog. But what the heck is it? Right now it’s 3 feet tall. Will it keep growing and growing? Do you suppose I can eat it? Maybe I could use it as seasoning in spaghetti . . . oh, I forgot. I don’t make spaghetti. But I do make meat loaf and use all sorts of seasonings in it. Maybe that would work and it would taste delicious. People would hear about my special plant and shower me with money for just a piece of it! Now I must go outside and try to rustle up some wood to make a fence around my plant to protect her from predators. I also must think of a name for her. I’ll do that another day.

Larry and his bird buddies still come all the time. Sometimes they get along together and other times they chase each other off. But they seem to do quite well most of the time. They hop up to my sliding glass door and peer in at me – all they see is me peering back at them. We amuse each other! Charley the squirrel keeps coming every day. Whenever I see him, I run screaming to the door and throw an empty, plastic gallon milk jug at him as he leaves. I guess it’s a sort of game we play. It doesn’t seem to have much effect on him. I don’t know what the people walking down the street think when I came screaming out the door, throwing things. I’m probably known as “that crazy woman down the street,” but that’s just fine with me.

I wish I had a potato picture to put up, but I may never have one again. I have the pictures of my dad and me planting potatoes every spring. I wish he were still here so he could give me some advice on growing them. I just wish he were here.

Sunday, October 10, 2010


It’s Tea Party time!

That was on the cover of a recent “Time” magazine which made me think of tea parties I had with my girls when they were little. The above picture is of Teri’s second birthday tea party. No one looks too animated – possibly they were waiting for the tea. I think things eventually livened up. Was that the beginning of the Tea Party movement of today? If it was, it went off track somewhere along the line. The Tea Party of today is full of a bunch of crazies that I don’t think could make it in the real world. Who are those people anyway?

Sarah Palin is the fairy godmother of the group who has an unwed daughter with a child who competes on “Dancing with the Stars.” The daughter’s first dance showed her in a brief outfit in which she shimmied around, showing us she had not yet lost her baby fat. The second dance Sarah attended so the daughter was completely clothed from top to bottom – mom sat there beaming. Is this what we have to look forward to in the years to come as Sarah runs for president? Will all of her kids be on stage in some way with beaming mom close by? Will there be more babies and will her other daughters have them before they’re married? And will they become engaged to clones of Levi? I really don’t care what that family does. I just don’t want to hear about it all the time.

In the latest “Time” magazine, there’s an article about Fred N. Davis III who is called the GOP’s hottest mad man. He has moved to Hollywood where all the talent is and the creative people live, or so he says. He’s from Oklahoma so that makes sense. Now he can mingle with all the Hollywood types which he seems to love and do what he does best: Write ads for republican candidates which are extremely negative and equally nasty and actually not true. People say you shouldn’t make snap judgments . . . but SNAP!! I just did and I don’t like him at all. The ad that makes me most upset is the one for Christine O’Donnell who’s running for the republican senate seat from Delaware. She burst onto the campaign scene with old quotes about dabbling in witchcraft and how masturbation is bad. She left out all the bad things she had done with her finances and similar infractions. She came bouncing across the stage in a red blazer with her long, reddish brown hair waving in the breeze, chirping in her perky little voice. Doesn’t that remind you of someone else? Well, shortly thereafter, Fred Davis got hold of her and there appeared a new ad that is absolutely atrocious! It shows Christine dressed in a black suit, with long, straight black hair. She’s standing in front of a black background with a white mist rising behind her . . . sort of like she’s standing in front of a coven. She looks like a witch! And then she speaks in a soft voice saying, “I’m not a witch. I’m nothing you’ve heard. I’m you.” When I heard that, I almost threw up! She is so not me!!! As things heat up before the election, Christine will probably become stressed and return to the coven for help and also find herself masturbating several times a day. These are very interesting times.

I hope I can find enough reruns of “Law & Order” to keep me going through the election. But then the build-up for the 2012 election will be underway. God help us!

Tuesday, October 05, 2010


Hydrangeas, Poop and “The Good Guys”

Back in May, I wrote a blog about Mother’s Day and put a picture on the blog of the beautiful blue hydrangeas Mark and Teri sent me. They were gorgeous and the flowers lasted a long time. After a while, we decided they should be out of the pot and possibly split into three plants which they actually were to start with. So they were moved across the sidewalk from my condo where there was shade and not direct sun like they were having in the original spot. So now there were three plants out there. They were watered by the sprinkler system, but I took special care of the one right next to the sidewalk where I could reach it. I watered it every day during the hot weather and fertilized it once a week. And now, as the above picture shows, there is a beautiful flower there and it’s not blue! I love it. The leaves look good, much better than the ones that I didn’t take care of myself. I have no idea what color the blooms will be next year. I guess it’ll be a surprise!

The other day I wrote about the poop habits of my daughter, Cindy. And now I must make a correction to that story. Cindy e-mailed me and told me she didn’t say, “Come wipe me.” She said she yelled, “I’m ready!” which meant the same thing. But someone said, “Come wipe me.” Was it Teri, although Teri and I had already talked about it . . . or was it I? I talked to Teri again last night and she said she thought Cindy said, “I’m ready – now come wipe me!” So that makes sense to me.

I watched the episode of “The Good Guys” last week. I love that show!! Bradley Whitford and Colin Hanks play two cops who are always screwing up (mainly because Bradley is so crazy). But they always manage to tie up a case even when they aren’t working on it – it just falls into their laps. This time they caught a cat burglar who could get into any building in town. But he did that for the money because his main love was blogging about food and restaurants. So he ate at all the restaurants in Dallas and then blogged about them, all the while doing his cat burglar business on the side for money. After they caught him when he was actually helping them break into a building, they asked him why he was doing it. He told them, “Because you can’t make any money blogging!” I jumped up and shouted, “I know what you’re talkin’ about!” But, of course, no one heard me because I was alone. The two cops let him go which I thought was a wonderful ending to the show.