I'm A Patsy - Gotta Problem With That?

Thursday, April 02, 2015





Cindy's having a birthday today and I can't believe it. She  is my youngest daughter and it's not easy  for me to realize she's a grownup woman. She was with me for five days and sprung me out of the rehab facility . . . no,  not a drug facility. . I was in the hospital first with pneumonia. So Cindy stayed with me at the mother ship and did
everything for me. She shopped many times, washed clothes several times, fixed my food, stood outside the shower door to make sure I didn't fall and everything else
that needed doing. Now she's back at her home and I really miss her. 

Cindy, I hope you know how much I loved having you here.You could move in anytime. The laundry will be piling up pretty soon and I'll need something from the store. But Teri will be coming here to take over the second shift.She'll have a lot to live up to.

I hope your birthday is a good one. You are a beautiful, smart woman and I love you so much. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!













Cindy's having a birthday today and I can't believe it. She  is my youngest daughter and it's not easy  for me to realize she's a grownup woman. She was with me for five days and sprung me out of the rehab facility . . . no,  not a drug facility. . I was in the hospital first with pneumonia. So Cindy stayed with me at the mother ship and did
everything for me. She shopped many times, washed clothes several times, fixed my food, stood outside the shower door to make sure I didn't fall and everything else
that needed doing. Now she's back at her home and I really miss her. 

Cindy, I hope you know how much I loved having you here.You could move in anytime. The laundry will be piling up pretty soon and I'll need something from the store. But Teri will be coming here to take over the second shift.She'll have a lot to live up to.

I hope your birthday is a good one. You are a beautiful, smart woman and I love you so much. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Thursday, February 12, 2015




Teri's having another birthday . . . already?

Time flies by so fast I think Teri's going to be older than I am in a couple of years! Teri lives across the country, and I miss her so much. There are so many times I want to talk to her about something or just nothing - I just want to talk with her. I want to be close to her. 

I think I've used this picture already, but I like it and it brings back memories. I didn't go to her college graduation years ago and I don't think she ever forgave me. I never forgave myself so I found this picture of her kindergarten graduation. Maybe that helps a little. I did go to that one which I'm sure was quite a bit shorter than a college graduation ceremony. So maybe I knew what I was doing!

I love her so much and admire her the same, but I've mentioned that before. She has such a good sense of humor that I'm sure she found this funny. It was in the latest Time magazine. It told about the miniseries "Sons of Liberty" which debuted January 25 on the History Channel and depicted our leaders as roguish action heroes. I, of course, missed it since I hadn't even seen the magazine yet. The article says Ulysses S. Grant asked two agents to destroy a giant mechanical spider! They  then end up becoming the Secret Service! Is that the way it's still done? Possibly that's why the secret service these days has so much trouble stopping people from
breaking into the White House. They're  still looking for spiders which doesn't bother me that much as I'm scared to death of spiders.

So Teri, I hope you have a wonderful birthday. I love you lots and lots.




Teri's having another birthday . . . already?

Time flies by so fast I think Teri's going to be older than I am in a couple of years! Teri lives across the country, and I miss her so much. There are so many times I want to talk to her about something or just nothing - I just want to talk with her. I want to be close to her. 

I think I've used this picture already, but I like it and it brings back memories. I didn't go to her college graduation years ago and I don't think she ever forgave me. I never forgave myself so I found this picture of her kindergarten graduation. Maybe that helps a little. I did go to that one which I'm sure was quite a bit shorter than a college graduation ceremony. So maybe I knew what I was doing!

I love her so much and admire her the same, but I've mentioned that before. She has such a good sense of humor that I'm sure she found this funny. It was in the latest Time magazine. It told about the miniseries "Sons of Liberty" which debuted January 25 on the History Channel and depicted our leaders as roguish action heroes. I, of course, missed it since I hadn't even seen the magazine yet. The article says Ulysses S. Grant asked two agents to destroy a giant mechanical spider! They  then end up becoming the Secret Service! Is that the way it's still done? Possibly that's why the secret service these days has so much trouble stopping people from
breaking into the White House. They're  still looking for spiders which doesn't bother me that much as I'm scared to death of spiders.

So Teri, I hope you have a wonderful birthday. I love you lots and lots.

So sorry I couldn't get the picture on and it's getting late! So I'll quit.

Saturday, December 06, 2014




How to break up a boring weekend!

A couple of Saturdays ago, I was feeling bored so went to the bathroom which wasn't that exciting. But on the way back, I tripped over one of the wheels on my walker and slipped down to the floor. I wasn't hurt, but really pissed because I couldn't get up. So I lay there for several hours, trying to get my legs to help me stand up, but that didn't work which probably hurt my legs. I finally called the mother ship downstairs for help, and after looking at me, they decided I needed to go to the ER. So I was hustled out of the mother ship on a gurney. I've never ridden in an ambulance before and it wasn't half bad! I guess I would have done almost anything for some excitement! The guys were really nice and I felt sorry for them as I was looking bad as I hadn't bathed in 3 days, brushed my teeth or hair all day. I was sick with a cough and cold so had seen better days. When we got to the hospital I was ushered into a room immediately and people started in on me right away. A doctor soon appeared and asked a few questions to see if I were coherent or completely bonkers. He decided on the former and got to work on all the tests they gave me. I can't believe everything they checked, but I'm surely glad they did.

When they were all done with me, they placed me by the desk where someone would pick me up. They had asked if I had a ride home - I told them I thought they did that, but it's just one way for me. I think they felt sorry for me and gave me a voucher for a free ride on them! They said they do that occasionally. I think they did it for me because they liked me or I smelled too bad to stay there too long. I'm not sure which it was.

While I waited I watched the action at the desk. I saw the male nurses come to the counter and talk to the gals behind the counter. Were they saying, "How about a hook-up after work?"  or were they saying "I sure like it when you bend over." My ride finally came for me so I couldn't make up anymore stories. All I have to say is my time at the Providence ER was extremely good. I hear many stores of people waiting hours to be seen, but I'm sure that doesn't happen where I was.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014


I had a really crappy weekend - actually it was Sunday and Monday, but it was my weekend

Sunday I decided to leave my mother ship and go to Safeway to pick up my prescription I get every month. I have all my other prescriptions mailed to me, but they won't mail a controlled substance. How crazy is that? I think Columbian drug lords have no problem mailing drugs to us without someone picking it up at a pharmacy in person. Why shouldn't I be treated at least as well as the drug lords? Oh well, to get on with the story, I used the little metal walker my friend, Diane, let me use. It's lighter than my big one and I can lift it into the car, so I thought it would be good. It doesn't have rollers on the back, so it's harder to move on rough areas.  That was a problem for me, and just pushing it over the rough street was very tiring. The store wasn't very good either as it's a long way to the pharmacy, so I was pooped before I was through. I managed to get back to the car with someone carrying my sack of 3 purchases! I got home all right and then lay down the rest of the day.

So Monday I had a doctor appointment and I set out again with the little metal walker in the trunk of the car. I parked and took out the walker and started out over rough ground and during the rain. It took a long time to make it into the building and people offered to help, but there was nothing they could do. When I was entering the elevator to go upstairs, the walker got stuck in the space between the elevator and floor and I couldn't get it out. A man got it out for me and I finally made it upstairs. I then had a long walk to the office. When I finally got done, I repeated what I had done getting there and finally got the walker back in the trunk. I headed home and pulled into our underground garage. I got inside where people leave their walkers or whatever, and got my good one I had left there. But when I went to get on the elevator, there was a sign saying it was out of order! I had just ridden down on it about an hour ago  . . . how could that have happened? So I had to go out a door and get to the sidewalk and walk all the way around part of the building to get back to the front door. I was so pissed and tired that I just went up to my apartment and lay down like the day before. My phone rang and it was Connie from the desk downstairs telling me I had a package there and she had opened it. She thought it was for the them because it was from Home Depot where they get a lot
 of stuff. I said that was ok but not to use it - printer ink. She assured me she wouldn't. I'll have to remember to check it.

So this morning I dragged myself over to physical therapy and Kate said, "How was your weekend?" I wanted to scream that it was shitty and I was depressed, but I didn't as I thought there might be one of the religious people around who don't talk like I do. So I told her when the class was over and then she told me about all the fun stuff she had done with her friends. Kate is a great teacher and a good friend to me. I don't have to worry about how I talk around her. She works her tail off and I think she has helped me. She can't cure me but possibly may slow down the progression of my ailment.

The picture is of me. I'm crying about the awful weekend I just had. I look quite young, but that's the way I look when I cry. I'm hoping next weekend is better.
   

Sunday, September 28, 2014




How many Heimlichs is one person allowed?

My girls and their husbands and boyfriend - just one daughter, Cindy, had a boyfriend and isn't married - were in town to visit me and see how I'm getting along at the mother ship. It was wonderful to have them here as I don't get to see them that often. I showed them around the facilities and they decided I was in good hands.  They then went shopping and came back and showed me their purchases. I remember when I had an operation, they came to town to make sure the hospital was treating me right.  So while I languished in the hospital, they went shopping then too. I think there's something about my being out of commission that sets them off on a shopping frenzy! I really think it's the fact we have no sales tax which they have in Washington and New York.

Cindy and boyfriend went home Saturday, but Teri and husband stayed on. Teri left around 9pm Sunday, so she and Mark(husband) and Rita and Steve(good friends of everyone) took me out to dinner early Sunday evening. I ordered a steak which I don't buy for myself as I can't afford it which is a sad circumstance. Anyway, it was very rare which I love. I knew I should take small bites, but I must have been like a tiger eating rare meat as I expect they like it rare . . . they can't cook. But one bite stuck in my throat and I couldn't breathe. Teri asked me if I needed help and I nodded since I couldn't talk. Immediately the servers there jumped into action and two of them worked on me with the Heimlich maneuver. At first a woman tried and then a young man finished it off. My throat felt funny afterward and my ribs were really sore, but I was alive! My ribs were sore for about a week, and apparently you should go to the hospital right away after going through that for an X-ray looking for broken ribs. I didn't know that but I should have realized that was the right thing to do. This wasn't the first time I had done this. It happened when I was alone and  some meat stuck in my throat. I thought I was going to die. I was all alone and couldn't breathe. But I jumped up from the table and ran to the kitchen sink and bent over the sink and dislodged the meat. It popped out right away. I told some guys in an ambulance several days later when they were on a break. They were impressed with my prowess but didn't offer me a job. I was disappointed.

So Mark took Teri to the airport and then came back to check on me. Teri called Cindy from airport and told her she had drunk some vodka, taken a sleeping pill and then entered the plane. I assume she had a good flight back to New York. 
I think I have had my share of going through the Heimlich maneuver. I went back to the restaurant and hugged the server who saved me. This time I ordered mashed potatoes and a glass of wine. How much trouble can I have with that on my menu?

Sunday, September 14, 2014


Fun time at the liquor store  

I hadn't been out of the mother ship (my retirement home) for a while, so decided to take the car for a spin to the liquor store. Why the liquor store? I don't know why. I do know where it is which was a plus. It's a small store which I like with drive-in parking right in front. What more could I ask for? No crowds and no crowded aisles which would be good for me to navigate with a cane. And also there would be no cars parking in front for hours as they do when shopping for shoes, underwear, lipstick, etc. at other stores - no one stays too long in a liquor store unless they're robbing it.

So I parked, grabbed my cane and stepped up on the curb without falling on my face. But as I staggered to the door, I heard a voice asking if she could help me. A woman came up and I felt like hugging her! We made it into the store and it turned out she worked there. She asked what I wanted and I said vodka. She asked what kind and started at the bottom of the vodka aisle until she said Hood River vodka which I took. I figured since I'm from Hood River and my dad raised apple and pears I was being patriotic in a way by supporting my roots. And I also bought a bottle of brandy. Mark, Teri's husband, gave me some when I was visiting them and it was late and I was ready for bed. After I drank the brandy I went to sleep immediately!
I guess that's what it's good for because I don't know why you'd drink if otherwise. It really tastes like shit!

So now I had my two bottles of booze but I knew I couldn't manage getting them to the car as they were too heavy. So I asked if someone could help me and a big guy who worked there carried them out for me. I told him I wasn't drunk even though I looked like it. He just smiled at me. I didn't think I should take up his time by telling him I had Ataxia which makes you walk like a drunken sailor. 

That was the day out for me which I spent in a liquor store. Not bad! I may just do the same thing on my next day out. I got a good vibe from that store and the people were very accommodating. How better to spend a lazy afternoon?

Tuesday, August 19, 2014



What's up with all the dating services?

There are so many dating services out there these days that it's hard to keep track of them . . . but who would want to? I get ads on my computer every day which I just delete immediately. There are ads for young people, ads for religious people, ads that promise to set you up with someone of your age group with like interests -- I guess that means old people.

There is also speed dating which I think is a riot! I can't imagine a group of people participating in that where they all take part at the same time and go from one person to the next in about 5 minutes. It must work something like this:

(Millennials looking for dates)

Shirley: Hi, I'm Shirley.
Jerry:    Hi, I'm Jerry and you are surely pretty, Shirley.
Shirley:  I don't think you're funny.
Jerry:     And I surely don't really think you're pretty, Shirley.
Shirley:  So why don't you just f***  off, Jerry!
                              
                           B U  Z Z E R !!!

(Religious people looking for good people and dates)

George: Hi, I'm George
Sarah:     Hi, I'm Sarah and I go to church every Sunday and twice during the week.
George:  Why do you do that, Sarah?
Sarah:    Because I need to confess. I'm married and sleeping with my mailman.
George:  I'm a UPS man and faster than a mailman.
Sarah:    Sounds good to me - You're on!

                          B U Z Z E R !!!

(Old people looking for . . . they can't remember just what it is)

Larry:    Hi, I'm Larry.
Sally:    Hi, I'm Sally. What are doing here?
Larry:    I don't know.
Sally:    Where do you live?
Larry:    uhhh . . . .
Sally:    Do you want to take me home?
Larry:    I think I just peed my pants.

                        B U Z Z E R !!!

I think in this instance the religious people had the most promise. More will begin attending church, and the women will be looking for UPS men - possibly some of the men also.