I'm A Patsy - Gotta Problem With That?

Monday, November 26, 2007

Charles Osgood and the CBS News Sunday Morning program

I enjoy this show very much and usually watch most of it in bed while I’m waiting for my condo to warm up after I turn up the heat. In the summer I do the same thing, only then I’m not waiting for the condo to get warm, I’m just lazy. Last Sunday Bill Geist had a segment that was very interesting and funny. He presented people from all over the world that had formed choirs in their cities, and these choirs were called “Complaint Choirs!” They sang of their complaints to music written especially for them. Since some were from different countries, there were subtitles for those of us who didn’t understand foreign languages. I loved it! I think we should all do that in every city. I can think of a few complaints I could sing about:

1. Why can’t someone fix my “check engine” light that comes on all the time in my car?
2. Why does George Bush say nucular?
3. Why did the bicyclist give me the finger when I almost hit him with my car?
4. Why won’t Paramount release the marvelously exciting “Mannix” TV show on DVD?
5. Why do people on buses plan entire parties on their cell phones and don’t invite me?
6. Why is Clarence Thomas a Supreme Court Justice?
7. Why are the Osmonds on television 24/7?
8. Why is the Sunday paper so heavy I need a wagon to drag it into the house?
9. Why do some wine bottles still have corks rather than screw tops?
10. Why is this administration so corrupt?
11. Why don’t all the presidential candidates shut up for a while and give us a rest?
12. Why do joggers always look so serious and never very happy?

I could probably come up with some more complaints, but that’s enough for now. I wonder if I can find enough people to make up a choir . . . I don’t have any friends that sing which will be a problem. My brother was a music teacher so maybe he could write some music for us. I’ll just have to think about this some more.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007


Out to Lunch


The other morning I checked Google for a green bean casserole recipe and ring worm. The bean dish was in case I have company sometime in the future . . . probably won’t happen. The ring worm thing was because I have a funny place on my arm and I wanted to read up on it. What would I do without Google? I’ll go to my pharmacist tomorrow for help which they always give me. I wish I had the CVS pharmacist that comes to your house if you’re lonely just to visit with you and who will cut your pills in half for you. But there isn’t a CVS pharmacy here – I was in one in Los Angeles with Teri, but I didn’t ask for any special help. So then I went to lunch with my friend, Diane. I showed her my possible ring worm and she was impressed. As we were on the road, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. I had taken my umbrella so that was what I carried out of the house. I seem to have trouble grabbing my purse when I already have another thing to carry. It’s possible I can’t take care of two things at one time – it’s not only possible, but probable. So Diane had to pay for my lunch which worked out quite well for me.

We first went to a jewelry store where Diane took her ring to be sized. I had left an agate there the week before for the jeweler to find a setting in which it could fit. I’ve lost all of my rings. The last to go was an agate ring my dad gave me years ago which I really loved. I think it just slipped off sometime. I’ve looked everyplace – even in my vacuum cleaner bag. I was hoping I wouldn’t find any of the spiders I had sucked up, but I didn’t see any. The agate is a beautiful one and was never made into a ring, so I decided I’d give myself one more chance to have a ring. I thought I had found the agate at the coast and my dad had polished it, but of course my brother said that he had found it. My brother always says things like that! Anyway, the jeweler hadn’t yet found anything appropriate for my agate. He said he knew I wanted something simple and not expensive. Or did he say cheap? I was thinking cheap – that’s me, simple and cheap. From there we went to a restaurant in the area and ordered a glass of wine before eating. I had chardonnay from the top of the list which was the cheapest. I mentioned that fact, and the waiter said it was ok just so long as it wasn’t the really popular cheap wine that’s sold around here. I told him that’s what I drink at home. When he brought my big burger, I asked for a box before he had even set it down. I said I’d be taking half home and eating it in the evening which I did. I think possibly I should get out more and learn how to act in public.

I was wishing I had a picture of our lunch out, but of course that wasn’t possible. So I found this picture of kids having a birthday party and eating. It was Teri’s 5th birthday, and the group assembled in our house was all kids from our cul-de-sac. It was so much simpler in the old days – now you have to rent a bowling alley, skating rink or Chuck E. Cheese for dozens of kids your child says are his/her friends. You had no idea your child had that many friends. In this picture from years ago, I made a cake, we played games and everyone had a good time, I think. The birthday girl, Teri, is in front on the left, and my mother is holding Cindy in back. The little boy with the glasses is Randy who lived down the street and turned out to be Cindy’s buddy when she added a couple of years. They played doctor, but it was a good kind of doctor. Is there any other kind?

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Morning paper – 11/13/07

Upon opening my morning paper, “The Oregonian,” the first article I noticed concerned Timberline Lodge which sits at the base of Mt. Hood. We have taken it for granted ever since the government hired men to build it as a public works project during the Depression. Back then they didn’t know just how popular it would become all over the country and even the world. Millions of people have visited and continue to do so. But now Timberline is in need of finances to keep it in shape. The government is not doing its share in the upkeep which is their responsibility. Recreation money for Oregon and Washington national forests has dropped 25 percent since 2003, and the Bush administration proposed another cut of about 10 percent next year . . . that’s no big surprise. All of our national forests are going through hard times, and services will be cut at many of our campgrounds in the future. It would be a shame if Timberline Lodge should cease to be the beautiful destination for travelers and locals it has been for many years. We’re going to have to come up with something to keep it going as it should.

On the next page was an article about a Saudi Arabian prince who bought a more than $300 million super-size luxury airplane. He’s a billionaire obviously, and the plane is being outfitted for his private comfort. The Airbus A380 is the world’s biggest passenger plane. It’s a double-decker jet with wings as long as a football field. Of course Prince Alwaleed bin Talal, the owner, will pay extra for options such as private bedrooms, movie theater or maybe a gym with whirlpool tub. He’ll also need a flight crew and possibly flight attendants. This is apparently the only customer for the aircraft according to the spokesman for Airbus. Now why do you suppose that is? I just read in the latest “Time” magazine that the prince was the biggest shareholder of Citigroup which is now in a crisis state financially. Too bad for the prince! It’s strange to be writing about the need for finances to keep up Timberline Lodge and the prince spending $300 million on a plane – it’s like going from one extreme to another.

And then I read Steve Duin’s column about the Interstate Avenue mess. I agree with him and thought his column was great. I don’t know why this whole business has upset me so much, but it has. I think it’s the way our mayor bulldozed his plan through to change Interstate Avenue to Cesar E. Chavez Avenue without any consideration for anyone else. And what really angered me was for him to say that those who were against the change were racist. That’s not what this is about. I lived in North Portland when I was first married, and later worked near Interstate Avenue and knew many of the places along it. I used to go with friends for drinks at the Alibi, the only Tiki lounge in Portland. I was familiar with all the streets and many establishments in that part of town, and Interstate Avenue was the mainstay of the area. Why the big push to change it so fast? I think our mayor is stubborn and extremely arrogant, and when he couldn’t have his way without any opposition, he rammed the idea through anyway. Apparently there are only two council members who stood up to him, but that wasn’t enough. When I saw him walk out of the city council meeting when he didn’t get his way, all I could think was what a fool he was making of himself. I have no respect for him anymore at all. I wonder if he ever thought of renaming a street like Scholls Ferry Road or Taylors Ferry Road. Do you suppose the southwest area is off limits? Or how about naming a park or library after Chavez? Why Interstate Avenue and why the rush?

Sunday, November 11, 2007


I found this picture among my many photos, and I believe it captures a special moment in my family’s life. We were at the Oregon coast and having a picnic. It was some time ago, and Teri and Cindy were teenagers at the time. Seated at the table on the right side from the front is Teri, Robin (a friend of Teri’s) me, Cindy at the end on the left and my mother, the matriarch of the family, in front on the left. We had just finished our lunch, and we all put up our plates and licked them. Licking plates is something we did . . . I guess it sort of took the place of saying grace which we never did. I don’t know if Robin’s family said grace, but she went right along with our routine. Possibly she incorporated that into her own family’s routine if the matriarch of her family agreed. I should have Teri find out. I notice Cindy didn’t even lift her plate to lick it – she put her face right down in it on the table. Cindy was an enthusiastic participant in almost anything.

I still lick my plate at times - family traditions are meant to be kept. I do it if there is good meat juice which tastes delicious when licked right off the plate. I suppose I could go out to the kitchen and get a piece of bread to soak up the juice, but that would take valuable time which I don’t have as I am a busy person. Sometimes I get up and close my blinds so people walking by my window can’t see me licking, and other times I don’t really care if they do. After all, it’s my house.

Monday, November 05, 2007


The other day I started my morning by looking through the newspaper which was not a good way to start my day. I read where Michael Mukasey, Bush’s nominee for attorney general, told the Senate Judiciary Committee he didn’t know whether the simulated drowning (waterboarding) of prisoners is torture or illegal. If he is appointed, I guess we’ll be getting another idiot to work with the other idiots surrounding the supreme idiot – George Bush.

Then I read where hundreds of troops, home from the war, have left the military and committed suicide. Many are suffering from combat stress and not getting enough help when they return. And yet we keep sending our young men and women over to fight in a war that should never have happened in the first place. These are young men and women who wanted nothing more than to come home and start their lives, doing something they wanted. But it’s all over for a lot of them. What an awful mess we have created worldwide.

So then I noticed a headline that read, “No clue, but a stroke just waiting to happen.” It went on to say that one in 60 older people could be walking around with benign brain tumors and don’t even know it. This information came from a Dutch study on brain abnormalities. Thank God for the Dutch – they gave us something else to worry about.

And then an article caught my attention on daylight savings time that states the manipulation of light and dark is triggering health dangers. It gave much info on wakefulness hormones, melatonin, depression, SAD, and on and on. But what it all came down to was the fact that women who do shift work – working at night – have higher rates of breast cancer. I worked at night for a while and I had breast cancer, so there you go.

I was thoroughly depressed after my morning paper, so I decided to do some manual labor and take down my tomato plant, Audrey III. She was getting yellow and not looking at all well. I saved the six remaining tomatoes and will have them tonight. It was hard work getting rid of everything and made me very sad, not SAD. Now I sit here and she’s not beside me. I really enjoyed her and wish she could have lived through the winter, but that was not to be.

After taking down Audrey. I was more depressed and wondered what I could do to cheer myself up. And then I thought of the only thing that makes me laugh and forget the stupid events of the day . . . watching “SEINFELD!” So I poured myself a glass of wine and settled down to two episodes. I have seen every episode many, many times and can practically recite the dialogue, but it never fails to make me laugh. Sometimes I think maybe I should throw things at the TV while it’s on like they do at “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” But I’m here alone, so it wouldn’t be as effective. And dancing wouldn’t be that good all by myself. I don’t know what it is about that show – the characters are all neurotic and narcissistic and seem to live in their own little cocoon with no worries whatsoever. Jerry works occasionally, George works sporadically, Elaine works part of the time and Kramer never works. But they don’t worry about health insurance, property taxes, gas prices, wars, politics or issues that take up our lives. They just go on their way, meeting at the coffee shop to discuss issues such as how can George get out of marrying Susan (she died after licking their poisonous wedding invitations – he lucked out on that), will Jerry ever find the right girl (he missed out on the virgin who turned against him), will Elaine ever get the perfect boyfriend who will please her sexually, and will Kramer ever do anything at all besides act goofy. So after watching that and finishing my wine, I felt considerably better than I did the rest of the day. All I can say is, thank God for “Seinfeld.”

The above picture is of me feeling sad as a little girl. That’s the way I felt after reading the newspaper and taking down Audrey. But I’m ok now.