Shock and Awe! Shock mostly

I was reading my latest "Time" magazine the other day. I always start at the back - I don't know why I do that, it's just one of the things I do for which there is no intelligent reason. I read Joel Stein's column which is always funny. Joel writes crazy stuff, and I feel like sometimes he's a little full of himself. But when you think about it - he has a great job as a journalist, makes good money, knows all the right people, can find out things about which the common person just wonders, can get an interview with just about anyone he wants - so why wouldn't he be a little full of himself! I'd be a big full of myself if I were he.

But that's not the reason for this blog. As I was scanning through the magazine, I noticed there were many full-page ads I hadn't noticed before. Is that something new or am I just unaware of its existence before now. But one full-page really caught my attention. It was entitled "The American Legacy Book Tour with Newt and Callista Gingrich." It had a picture of Newt and Callista. Callista had the same white hair fixed in the way she always wears it. It looks like a helmet with not a hair out of place.  Does she look like that after she gets out of bed, after sex, after a windstorm, when she cleans house ( silly me - she doesn't have to do that), when she does pilates? I think I'm obsessed with her hair. I don't care at all about Newt as he's just a dick. Callista is a female version of a dick - would that be a dickette? - but what is it with her hair? The ad says she wrote a book, "Land of the Pilgrims' Pride" with a picture of a little elephant holding an American flag. How sweet. Newt also wrote a book, "Victory at Yorktown," which is a novel, it says. It would have to be a novel as he isn't that good at truth-telling. At the bottom it gives the address where you can get locations and dates for their appearances. I wonder if there was a run on the internet on Black Friday for the info. I wonder why they're doing that? He's had it . . . or does he think he may try again in 2016? 

So I went on with the rest of "Time" and enjoyed all of it. It's just hard to get the page full of Newt and Callista out of my mind. I really can't stand the sight of either one!

Happy Birthday, Harry!!

Today Harry is 17 years old!!! I can hardly believe it because it seems like only yesterday when he was stomping around in my boots in my living room. He wanted to wear them home on the plane, but mean grandma wouldn't let that happen. He was only about two years old! I've never been able to see much of him as they live in New York - Brooklyn - and we don't connect that much. But when we do, we have fun. Last summer I taught him how to play solitaire - double solitaire. He said his mom plays that all the time! I thought that was great that she would play cards sometimes, but then he said she does it on her iPad! Silly me! Harry's very competitive and may have even cheated a couple of times. But I kept an eye on him.

I used the above picture just like the one I put on a couple of blogs ago only in this one Harry doesn't have the cookie spoon stuck in his mouth like in the other picture. He let Reggie have a turn with the spoon. The yellow mixing bowl is probably an antique. I think I got it in a set of bowls in different sizes at my wedding shower and they weren't knew then . . . but I was. I hope my kids and Harry will carry on the tradition of cookie making with that yellow bowl. I may even remind them of the secret ingredient I used that makes them so delicious. I hope next summer if they come out Reggie, Hayden and Harry can get together and make cookies again. That's a big event  that should be carried on through the years.

Harry, you're growing up so fast it scares me! I wish you had more time to just be a  kid, but the years keep going by and so do you. By the way, have you heard about the Stink bug invasion in our country? I've already found two on my venetian blinds. They can eat up everything and will be a scourge upon us. So be on the lookout for them. Check your room every night before you go to bed, and if you find one, flush it down the toilet!

That's all until your next birthday.

Don't forget your grandma loves you lots and lots.

"Law & Order: SUV

Special Unit Vigilantes"

The original "Law & Order" began in 1990 although it seems like it's been on the air for many more years. It's a sort of comfort food in that you can always depend on it being there for you when you need something to make you feel warm and cozy. When it was canceled, I was crushed, but I still had "Law & Order: SVU" and "Law & Order: Criminal Intent." And I can always watch the reruns of the original one as they are always running. I think I can recite the dialogue right along with them!

But I got to thinking . . . why couldn't there be a new one started.  So I came up with the name "Law & Order: SUV - Special Unit Vigilantes." It would have sexual connotations, of course, as does the SVU program. But it wouldn't be with well-known actors, and it would all take place in an SUV convertible.

The cast would be:

Ann Coulter - lawyer, conservative social commentator, author, etc. She spends a lot of time around the Fox network, probably because that is the only place anyone can stand her.

Todd Akin - Republican senatorial candidate from Missouri who coined the term "legitimate rape" and then unsuccessfully tried to explain what it meant. I think he may lose the race for the Senate as he's pretty dumb - dumb in a way that even republicans wish he'd go away. 

Sarah Palin - she needs no introduction

Michele Bachmann - Republican representative from Minnesota. She's ultra conservative, loud and brassy. Too loud and brassy to be let loose to speak more than two minutes.

These cast members would ride around in an SUV convertible. Ann Coulter would be the driver with her long blond hair blowing in the wind! Sarah would ride shotgun and carry her very own shotgun, straight from Alaska. She'd be ready to take care of  anything that might arise that the group found distasteful. Todd would be on the lookout for any woman who might be heading for Planned Parenthood. I don't know what that looks like, but he must, and Sarah could take it from there. Michele would practice her next speech, but only in 2-minute intervals as the rest of the group can't stand her voice.

This would be a weekly show and could be filmed all over the country - not just stuck in New York as the other Law & Order programs are. I think this is an outstanding idea. I wonder what Dick Wolf would think?