What's up with all the dating services?

There are so many dating services out there these days that it's hard to keep track of them . . . but who would want to? I get ads on my computer every day which I just delete immediately. There are ads for young people, ads for religious people, ads that promise to set you up with someone of your age group with like interests -- I guess that means old people.

There is also speed dating which I think is a riot! I can't imagine a group of people participating in that where they all take part at the same time and go from one person to the next in about 5 minutes. It must work something like this:

(Millennials looking for dates)

Shirley: Hi, I'm Shirley.

Jerry:    Hi, I'm Jerry and you are surely pretty, Shirley.

Shirley:  I don't think you're funny.

Jerry:     And I surely don't really think you're pretty, Shirley.

Shirley:  So why don't you just f***  off, Jerry!

                              

                           B U  Z Z E R !!!

(Religious people looking for good people and dates)

George: Hi, I'm George

Sarah:     Hi, I'm Sarah and I go to church every Sunday and twice during the week.

George:  Why do you do that, Sarah?

Sarah:    Because I need to confess. I'm married and sleeping with my mailman.

George:  I'm a UPS man and faster than a mailman.

Sarah:    Sounds good to me - You're on!

                          B U Z Z E R !!!

(Old people looking for . . . they can't remember just what it is)

Larry:    Hi, I'm Larry.

Sally:    Hi, I'm Sally. What are doing here?

Larry:    I don't know.

Sally:    Where do you live?

Larry:    uhhh . . . .

Sally:    Do you want to take me home?

Larry:    I think I just peed my pants.

                        B U Z Z E R !!!

I think in this instance the religious people had the most promise. More will begin attending church, and the women will be looking for UPS men - possibly some of the men also.

Laundry day is not what it used to be!

I used to like doing my laundry. I'd step into the little room right off my kitchen and toss in my clothes whenever I wanted. I could wash clothes at 6am or midnight - whatever suited me. Now I don't even have a washer or dryer in my apartment at my new home. I miss a lot of things from my old life, but I never thought I'd miss doing laundry this much.

Now I walk down a hall, carrying my dirty clothes and enter the laundry room, hoping no one else is there. There are two washers and dryers but sometimes they're all busy. When that happens, I have to lug my dirty clothes back to my room where I throw myself on the sofa and burst into tears! But in a little while I pull myself together, stop longing for the old days and trudge back to the laundry room. This time it's empty, so I wipe away all my tears and get to work. I get all the clothes in the washer, add the soap and then head back to my room. I check along the way to make sure I didn't drop any dirty panties on my way there. I would probably be kicked out if anyone found out. So now I have to wait in my room until the washing is done. Then I go back to the laundry room and put the clothes in a dryer. The washing machines are so deep I can hardly reach the little things like socks when I empty it. Do you suppose my arms are shrinking? So I drag all the wet clothes out and take them to one of the dryers. The dryers are huge, and when I get the clothes out after they're dry I almost climb inside to get the things stuck to the back! I'm afraid one day someone will come in to wash clothes and see a couple of skinny little legs sticking out of the dryer! That will be me, so please drag me out. So while the clothes are drying, I again wait in my room. I finally go back and bring my dry clothes back to my room. This whole process takes at least two hours of my valuable time. But then I also have to put all the clean clothes back in their proper places. I could have been doing something fun all that time like maybe having an affair, finishing "Fifty Shades of Grey" or almost anything other than laundry. 

This picture is of one of my socks stuck in the back of the dryer. I stand there a few minutes, hoping my telepathic skills will force it to move to the front of the dryer. Guess my skills are rusty as the sock never moves. So I finally give up and crawl in and drag it out. Doing laundry is not one of  my favorite household chores anymore.