My first and last shopping experience at KOHL'S Department Store

The other day my friend and I went to Kohl's to finish our Christmas shopping. I had never been there, but my friend told me I could open a charge account and get 15% off. That sounded pretty good to me. I don't have credit cards as I don't buy things I can't afford. But I could just cut it up after I got it and it had served its purpose. So I went and bought a few things and then got up to the counter and said I would like to open a charge account. Then came all the questions about how much money I made a month which is pretty hysterical - like nothing! So we wasted a little more time and she punched some numbers and told me they wouldn't accept me. I asked why and she said she didn't know - actually we both knew - but she said they would send me a letter. So I paid for the stuff and we left.

A couple of days later I got a letter from Kohl's. It listed many factors for the reason I was declined. So I decided I owed them a letter. The following is part of what I wrote:

"So yesterday I get a letter from you giving the reason why I was turned down. It listed 5 factors, but it boiled down to 'Excessive obligations in relation to income.' This all means I am poor - I already knew that! I didn't plan on going on a shopping spree with my new card and never paying you back, therefore adding up much interest in your favor although that is the purpose of your credit cards, isn't it?

You obtained my credit score from Experian which is 901. That's pretty high, isn't it? My two others are also high. I keep track. I imagine you checked me out and even found out what time I take a dump in the morning after breakfast! Everyone knows everything about everybody these days - nothing is secret or private anymore. So I won't be shopping at KOHL'S anymore."

I wish I had looked at the J LO and Marc Anthony collections. I wonder if anyone even buys them? J LO doesn't wear anything when she performs and Marc looks like a sleazy gangster in the TV ads. But I won't be going back to check them out since Kohl's is off my shopping list.