Short news clips that fit my twisted sense of humor

First off, there’s one on the Gawker website about an Oregon postal worker who was caught by an apparent neighborhood shit watch guy who found him taking a shit behind some trash cans in the neighborhood. Now why was this guy out with his cameras behind the trash cans where he was taking pictures? Is he some sort of vigilante? This postal person probably was not near a portable toilet and thought he was out of sight. But not from the shit patrol evidently! Gawker says now he is suspended without pay. So Gawker tells the vigilante to get over it – after all, it’s Oregon and we’re into sustainable mulching and all that.

And then there’s a notice in “The Oregonian” about Virginia Thomas whom we all know as the wife of the lovable Clarence Thomas, Supreme Court Justice. Seems she’s going to be a special correspondent for The Daily Caller, a conservative (of course) website, and the publisher of that website says she’ll be interviewing key political and community leaders from high-profile politicians to those who aren’t. I wrote about the both of them before and how they pulled a fast one on tax issues. Those two are sneaky people and Virginia is actually a little crazy besides being just a plain bitch. They deserve each other.

Another funny story is of the man who was caught by a Phoenix police dog and bit the dog back, injuring it. Now the man is suing the cities of Phoenix and Glendale and four officers. He’ll probably sue the dog once the dog recovers from his wounds.

This story isn’t that funny; it’s very weird. In a wedding in the southeastern province of Gaziantep in Turkey, the groom was apparently so excited during the celebration that he opened fire with an automatic weapon into the air. But he accidentally killed his father and two aunts and injured eight other relatives. He apparently lost control of the gun and aimed at guests. But he was arrested before he killed the bride. My advice would be to not schedule a wedding in Turkey.

And then there was a good article in “Time” magazine about the benefits of booze. Seems that moderate drinkers have the lowest mortality rates. Moderate drinking is one to three drinks per day. Moderate drinking is thought to improve heart health, circulation and sociability but should not be carried too far. It can affect your memory, your balance, affect your driving – there are so many reasons not to drink too much. But a little every day is pretty good for you. At least that’s what I think as I get ready for my daily wine.