I flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest . . . and stayed several hours

I had an appointment at my hospital the other day for an EEG. I’ve been having leg problems and no one can find the cause. So earlier I stepped into my neurologist’s office where I’d been several years ago. I found that the physician’s assistant was pregnant and would be leaving – I really liked her – and my neurologist was actually leaving the state! I was given an appointment for an EEG at the hospital and was assigned another neurologist for my next visit. I really know how to clear a room! So I ended up at the hospital.

As I was walking down the long corridor in the hospital, I expected to see a little boy, furiously pedaling his tricycle down the hall in front of me. This sent chills up my spine until I realized I was in the wrong movie. I was visualizing “The Shining” with Jack Nicholson at Timberline Lodge whereas I was actually in “One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest” with Jack Nicholson. I finally got myself composed and found the room reserved for my procedure. I expected to see Nurse Ratched, but there was a nice gentleman waiting there who was going to do me . . . the procedure. He pasted electrodes all over my head and then one on each ankle and each wrist. The electrodes were placed on my body in the path that the electric currents would travel to my brain from my wrist or foot. When he turned it on, all my fingers would tingle and my thumb would bounce up and down. The same happened with the feet only then my big toe would do the bouncing. This was done four times for each hand and each foot. I asked the technician if people minded being electrocuted, and he said some people couldn’t stand it and just left! It didn’t bother me except for the fact that I would rather have been doing something else and it made my hair all sticky. This all took about 2 hours and then we were done. I won’t know results until they are sent to my neurologist, my primary care doctor, my cardiologist, my oncologist, my dentist, my shrink (I don’t have one yet), my mechanic and anyone else they can think of. Hopefully, someday I’ll find out if there’s anything wrong with me.

I asked him if he could take a picture of my head with all the electrodes on it and he said he didn’t have a camera. So I told him I did! Of course I did. So he took the picture, but the electrodes and the wires from them don’t really show up much. I pulled up the blanket so just about half of my face shows. I hate having my picture taken but I like this one. I guess I’ve found the secret to getting a photo I like of myself. And then I wonder if something is wrong with me! At least I got out of the cuckoo’s nest without a lobotomy!