Leaning in or out . . . What a Dilemma

I'm sure we've all heard the opposing ideas regarding choices made by young women these days. There are those who believe women should "lean in" such as Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook executive. She thinks young women should work on their careers right from the beginning, aiming for the top. And there are those like Susan Patton who is known as the Princeton Mom after she wrote an open letter to Princeton women, suggesting they snag a good husband as fast as they can so as not to end up with an undesirable. That is what I would call "lean out" advice.

In their own way, their ideas are somewhat similar. Both believe women don't have time to fool around with trips around the world to see how other people live or just climb mountains and visit numerous rain forests. Men can spend 10 years doing just that and then settle down to a career. They can start a career and at 50 can be well established in something, even get a divorce, remarry and have more kids. Can women do that? I don't think so.

Women have to push and rush to get to the point where they may be able to lean out when needed. Some can even have day-care on site or flexible work schedules. But these are only the top executives, and these women have had to work like hell to reach that point. There are the regular workers and midlevel women who never reach that high. But women have to move quickly as their biological clocks keep ticking away. Men don't have that problem which is evident with all the male Ceos there are; however, there are more women reaching that point. I hope that keeps up and women with families get more breaks.

The above picture illustrates the "lean in" and "lean out" version of two young women who happen to be my daughters. Teri is definitely leaning in with her pretty outfit and Barbie lunch box. She's on her way to the top. Cindy is definitely leaning out and doesn't seem to give a shit about anything.