About Betty

Yesterday was a crazy day. I spent a long time trying to empty the air mattress I had in my computer room when Teri and family were here. Most of the air was out of it, but I tried to hook up the machine to suck the rest of it out. I kept hooking it up to the wrong place so the sucking wasn’t successful. I threw myself across the mattress, trying to squeeze the air out, but didn’t do too well that way either. I finally tried to fold it up like it was when I bought it – a little tiny thing that came in a little tiny box. That, of course, didn’t work either, so I stuffed it in a great big black garbage bag and shoved it in a closet after I emptied the other things out of the closet. Then I had to find a place for them.

While I was doing this, I realized my paper cutter was missing. It’s always in my computer room, so I had to go through the entire room several times. Then I went through the whole house. I looked in every closet, cupboard – under the bed, behind chests and then I did it again . . . and again. This was very disturbing to me. I even looked in my outside storage rooms . . . twice. I was a basket case. This continued throughout the evening until finally, at 1130pm, I remembered a place I hadn’t looked. So I leaped off the couch, which is my bed. I think everyone should sleep on the couch – you never have to worry about changing your bed and making square corners with the top sheet. All you have to do is wash the little sleeping bag thing in which you sleep. But I digress. So I leaped off my couch and ran into the laundry room and there was the paper cutter. It was in the little space between the washer and dryer. I then remembered I had hidden it there so Harry wouldn’t find it and maybe cut off a finger.

But while this was going on I was also looking at old family photos – I have a ton. I also looked at old photos Teri bought at a flea market in Manhattan for my defunct card business. When I was doing cards, I went to an intellectual attorney just once as the first call was free and I had no money for more calls. Anyway, she told me I couldn’t use any of those old photos even though they had been sold. Someone might see them and sue me for making fun of their ugly brides or kids which I certainly would have done. But I came across this one picture that really cracked me up and think it just might have become mixed up with my family photos. Could this be a long lost cousin? I’m pretty sure I never had a sister, and if I had I would certainly have given her help with her hair. I remember there was talk about someone who always heard strange things such as buzzing noises. Could this be the one being talked about, and did she have a bee hive on top of her body? And what’s with her eyes? It’s probably the reflection of her glasses, but it’s very weird. I decided to call her Betty.