Do It Yourself!

You know how ads appear on television about depression and weight, and how you can answer some questions and then call a number or go to an office and someone will tell you that, "Yes, you are depressed and fat and we will fix you for so many dollars." Well, I decided to make up a test, not for depression or weight, but just to see what kind of person you are. It costs nothing, and no one else will know. It's for you alone. I hate all the ads on television - they all just try to suck you in. So here goes - The following is just a sample test:

1.  Do you masturbate?

     a. Yes

     b.  When - every Thursday

     c.   What do you think of it - undecided, don't know what it is

2.  Do you exercise?

     a. Yes

     b.  When - every day I walk to the mail box

     c.   Are you ok? Undecided

3.  Do you smoke?

     a.  Yes

      b.  When - only when I drink

      c.   Are you coughing? Undecided

4.   Do you drink?

      a.  Yes

      b.  When - only when I smoke

      c.   Are you drunk now?  Undecided

5.   Do you use dental floss?

      a. Yes

      b.  When - all the time

      c.  I use yarn, but it's pretty hard getting between my teeth

6.   What do you think of the job our Congress is doing?

      a.  Pretty crappy

      b.  When - all the time

      c.  Undecided

7.   Do you like Mitch McConnell?

      a.  No

      b.  When - all the time

c.  Undecided - who is he anyway

8.   Do you bathe regularly?

       a.  Yes

       b.   When - when I smell bad

c.    Undecided

9.   Do you roller skate?

       a.   Yes

       b.    When - in the bathroom

       c.    Undecided

10   Do you chew gum?

        a.  No

        b.  When - I said no!

        c.   Undecided

Now, we're all done with the quiz. See how easy it was, and it didn't cost you a dime. 

If you answered all in the "a" column, you're very normal. If you're in the "b" column, you're a little hinky, but interesting. If you're in the "c" column, you're incredibly stupid!