I was reading “The Sunday Oregonian” recently and came across two small articles on the same page that caught my interest. The first was concerning the office in charge of protecting American technical secrets about nuclear weapons from foreign spies. It turns out 20 desktop computers are missing and 14 of them have been used for classified information. This was reported by the Energy Department inspector general. This is the 13th time in four years that this department has lost control over computers used in working on bombs. What the hell is happening in Washington? Is everyone asleep and are the inmates running the asylum? But then they have been for the past few years. Spokesman Craig Stevens says Energy Secretary Samuel Bodman “recognizes that we need to manage this place better.” How’s that for an understatement?

Another article was about a man who wanted to see his brother playing football at the University of South Carolina – his brother is a lineman for the Gamecocks. Is that an actual name? What are the cheers like for a team with that name? Hard to imagine! Anyway, this man really wanted to get to the game and apparently had no car, so he stole a car after he shot its owner at a convenience store. The car then broke down, so he went to some woman’s home, shot and killed her and then stole her car. He was finally arrested outside the stadium where the team was playing a scrimmage game. All that for a scrimmage game?

Since I haven’t checked with Tiffany and Amber in quite a while, I asked them what they thought of the football story and this is what they said:

Tiffany: How could anyone come up with a cheer for the Gamecocks?

Amber: How about “Our Cocks are the biggest – Our Cocks are the best. We’ll knock you down and run over the rest! Yay team!!”

Tiffany: No, Amber – it’s GAMECOCKS, not Cocks!

Amber: You never like my ideas. I’m going to the mall and maybe like find someone who thinks I’m cool.

I don’t know why I ever even check with them.