I just read an article in The Oregonian which says Hallmark Cards Inc. is starting up a new line of cards which gets right to the point. No more dull “Happy Birthday” or “Get Well Soon” . . . they will still have those, but will add the new group. These new cards will pin point the reason for the card. If you have cancer, one idea is “Cancer is a villain who doesn’t play fair . . . but it can’t dim your spirit, and it can’t silence prayer.” Another example listed was for depression: “When the world gets heavy, remember, I’m here to help carry it with you.” Now just what does that mean? Does it mean the sender of the card will get depressed with you so there will be two depressed people instead of just one?

This whole idea sounds very strange to me . . . even a little sick. When I had cancer a few years ago, the last thing I wanted was someone sending me a card reminding me I had cancer. I already knew it! There was even an example for a person with an eating disorder. If I had an eating disorder I certainly wouldn’t want a card from someone mentioning that fact. They’ll have cards for quitting smoking, caring for an aged parent, miscarriage, dying from an accident or homicide and many others. What would these cards say? “Sorry you’re stuck with your senile father” or “Too bad your son was stabbed to death in front of Harry’s Bar.” There could be any number of phrases to fit these situations. What about a card for adultery: “I hear you’re sleeping with your neighbor’s wife . . . is she hot?” Or one for constipation: “Sorry you’re so constipated – eat some prunes and quit whining.” And one for appearances: “I know you hate that ugly mole on your cheek . . . everyone does!” Or how about this: “I hear you’re a pedophile – no more babysitting at my house!”

Now those are just my views, and I’m probably in the minority. I love Hallmark commercials and always get teary-eyed when they run on TV, but I don’t buy that kind. I get the stupid, crazy, goofy ones. My friends know that about me and accept me for what I am, whatever that is. I don’t want to send a card with my tears on it because it’s so touching that it makes me cry. I want to send a card that might make someone smile even though he or she is not in the best of circumstances at that time. Isn’t that what it’s all about?