Squirrel Underpants – what a novel idea!

Cindy sent me some squirrel underpants from her “Brownie Morrison” shop in Tacoma. She carries wild and crazy things in her shop, but I think she ordered these especially for me . . . I mean, for Charley. She had to order a certain number from the company, and has already sold several others! They are on a thick poster covered with plastic, but the underpants are real jockey shorts out of cotton as you can see in the picture. I shouldn’t be getting presents for Charley as I really don’t like him. He’s aggressive, messy and he bugs me. He managed to get into the bird feeder I put up just before I went to New York and clean out all the food, so I had to take it down. Now I have the same old place where I feed the birds and Charley climbs into it as I’ve shown in another blog and eats up the food. I still run out every time I catch him there and scream and yell and wave a broom at him. I shriek “Get out!” and he runs off. Sometimes I throw an empty gallon milk carton at the door on the deck which startles him. I would never have thought I’d be doing this at this time of my life! Another thing I don’t like is he poops all over the ledge, especially in one certain place like it fills in for a litter box. And his poop is big! I’ve really had it with him.

Someone asked how I would get the pants on Charley . . . as if I would even try. On the back of the poster is written: “A portion of the profits from this product will be donated to the ‘Small Animal Decency Fund’ which seeks to rid our neighborhoods of any potentially offensive naturally occurring indecent exposures.” I find that very commendable. They also include a quote from a worried mother: “The poor little things don’t even know that they are naked! We’ve got to educate the animals and protect our children.” So I have the underpants on display in my living room. Where else would I put them?

“Squirrel Underpants” has a website I checked, and it’s hilarious. It ends with the work they are trying to do for all animals, and I think elephant underpants are in the near future. I won’t order those . . . unless I spot an elephant in my bird feeder!