Gymnastics, Dancing and Corn

I spent the last few weeks with “Dancing with the Stars.” I don’t usually watch reality shows . . . in fact, I never do. But I watched this one because I wanted to see how long they’d keep Kate Gosselin, who has about 85 kids, on the show. I was getting scared that the crowd might vote to keep her on even though her dancing was crap. Fortunately, wiser heads prevailed and they knocked her off. But that wasn’t the end of her. She loved the mic and was on many entertainment shows and even back on “Dancing,” hogging the mic and giving her two cents’ worth if anyone would listen. Why would someone like that even compete? I guess because they like the publicity and don’t do well without it. People are crawling all over themselves to be on that show. They even wanted to force Betty White to be on it! Fortunately, she declined. And the show, “Dance Your Ass Off” – who in their right mind would consider appearing on a show like that. Apparently people like it or it wouldn’t be on TV. Maybe that’s why I’ve never been asked to produce a show. I must admit I watched “The Good Guys” – the new Fox show – for the fourth time last night – the same episode. I hope they come up with a new one pretty soon.

The picture above is of my daughter, Cindy. When she was younger, she took gymnastics for a few years and was very good. I think that picture was taken in front of where I’d planted some corn which never produced. I later learned I had to have male and female rows or something stupid like that. Cindy worked out hard, and we even had a balance beam built for her. We put it in the middle of the floor in our family room. Teri was pissed and thought we should put it in the basement, but the floor down there was concrete! That didn’t seem to bother Teri at all . . . hmmmm . . . interesting . . . So we had this thing in the middle of our family room, right in front of the couch where I had begun sleeping at night. So one night I tripped over it when I was getting up to go to the bathroom. I scraped my shin, and boy oh boy, did that hurt! Cindy gave up gymnastics in high school, and I was so glad as I was about to be forced to sleep in a bed again. I was a nervous wreck when she was competing as the sport is extremely dangerous. So then she was on the rally squad where all she had to do was jump up and down and scream. Maybe if they’d had “Dancing with the Stars” in those years, Cindy could have been on it. She knew all the moves – all she had to do was dance. But it might have helped if she had a story to go along with it when she applied . . . say she was dancing for a new kidney or a new vagina, or was dancing with a prosthetic leg . . . no, that’s been done already by Heather Mills . . . or maybe she was caught in a sting and was now broke and needed the money . . . no, that’s been done already by Fergie, not the Black Eyed Pea Fergie - the Duchess of York Fergie who I’m sure will soon be on DWTS. I guess Cindy would have had to do it on her own. But she didn’t do any of that. She just grew up normally into her own, crazy creative self and opened her “Brownie Morrison” shop which is just as crazy and creative as she.