Hypothetically, of course . . .
In a recent posting, I mentioned my tall son-in-law who fixed my shower head for me as I was too short to reach that high. I’m fairly short, so almost any man would be taller than I. I wrote how nice it would be if I could have a tall guy – not terribly tall – who would stop by occasionally and do things for me. And it would be a plus if were kind of cute. My friend, Michele, suggested I do more with this idea, so I thought I’d do a posting with my list of chores for the cute, not too tall guy.
I’ll begin with screwing . . . there would be plenty of that going on. I have light fixtures in my ceilings that I can’t reach, so when the bulbs go out I feel like I’m living in the twilight zone. I’m sure he would be able to reach them and screw in the bulbs.
Grocery shopping is another problem. The shopping isn’t bad; it’s packing in all the stuff when I get home. Sometimes I have a gallon of milk, half gallon of orange juice, cans of all sorts of things, potatoes, etc. I often wonder why the clerk puts all the canned stuff in one sack so it’s extremely heavy, and then puts the dental floss, aspirin and tooth brush in another sack. I also get six bottles of wine – you can get six bottles for 10% off – and they come in a six-pack carton that weighs a ton. So when I come home, I would love to have a man waiting to carry in my purchases. He wouldn’t even have to be that tall.
I am scared to death of bees, so when one flies into my condo, I fly right out the door! One time I grabbed a strange man outside – he really wasn’t strange – I just didn’t know him – and he came in and killed the bee for me. I feel the same about spiders. Now if I could call on a man who would take care of my bees and spiders, life would be beautiful.
Maybe he might want to watch TV when he had some free time, and that would be fine with me except for the fact that the remote is MINE! The TV remote is like an extension to my body, and I am the only one who has control. And if I’m watching a drama and all absorbed in it, I don’t want someone chattering or trying to make conversation. And there would be no channel surfing. When I find something I want to watch, I stick to it. There’s
no room for negotiation on this one.
If for some reason he were forced to spend the night sometime, there would be no breakfast waiting for him in the morning. He would just leave abruptly. I was married once, and don’t want to go that route again. Do I sound like a bitch? Well, maybe I am. But I’m a happy bitch.
I’m sure I could expand on and embellish this list and come up with many other chores for the tall man. I’ll just have to give this some more thought. But I almost forgot . . . this is all hypothetical. But it’s fun to imagine.
In a recent posting, I mentioned my tall son-in-law who fixed my shower head for me as I was too short to reach that high. I’m fairly short, so almost any man would be taller than I. I wrote how nice it would be if I could have a tall guy – not terribly tall – who would stop by occasionally and do things for me. And it would be a plus if were kind of cute. My friend, Michele, suggested I do more with this idea, so I thought I’d do a posting with my list of chores for the cute, not too tall guy.
I’ll begin with screwing . . . there would be plenty of that going on. I have light fixtures in my ceilings that I can’t reach, so when the bulbs go out I feel like I’m living in the twilight zone. I’m sure he would be able to reach them and screw in the bulbs.
Grocery shopping is another problem. The shopping isn’t bad; it’s packing in all the stuff when I get home. Sometimes I have a gallon of milk, half gallon of orange juice, cans of all sorts of things, potatoes, etc. I often wonder why the clerk puts all the canned stuff in one sack so it’s extremely heavy, and then puts the dental floss, aspirin and tooth brush in another sack. I also get six bottles of wine – you can get six bottles for 10% off – and they come in a six-pack carton that weighs a ton. So when I come home, I would love to have a man waiting to carry in my purchases. He wouldn’t even have to be that tall.
I am scared to death of bees, so when one flies into my condo, I fly right out the door! One time I grabbed a strange man outside – he really wasn’t strange – I just didn’t know him – and he came in and killed the bee for me. I feel the same about spiders. Now if I could call on a man who would take care of my bees and spiders, life would be beautiful.
Maybe he might want to watch TV when he had some free time, and that would be fine with me except for the fact that the remote is MINE! The TV remote is like an extension to my body, and I am the only one who has control. And if I’m watching a drama and all absorbed in it, I don’t want someone chattering or trying to make conversation. And there would be no channel surfing. When I find something I want to watch, I stick to it. There’s
no room for negotiation on this one.
If for some reason he were forced to spend the night sometime, there would be no breakfast waiting for him in the morning. He would just leave abruptly. I was married once, and don’t want to go that route again. Do I sound like a bitch? Well, maybe I am. But I’m a happy bitch.
I’m sure I could expand on and embellish this list and come up with many other chores for the tall man. I’ll just have to give this some more thought. But I almost forgot . . . this is all hypothetical. But it’s fun to imagine.
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