Rescue Me – fourth episode

At the end of the third episode, Chief Jerry shot himself as he couldn’t stand the thought of going on forced retirement. This affects the crew in different ways. Sean asks if that means he should shoot himself when he gets older. That sets Tommy off on one of his rants.

Sean finds vodka bottle behind the toilet and gets mad at Maggie who’s on the couch, just waking up from a hangover. He tells her he doesn’t like her drinking all the time and asks if she has more bottles. She says she wants him to put that back behind the toilet because, “Next time I’m on the can, I won’t have to reach back and come up empty.” She also has one on her side of the bed for after sex, one in computer drawer and one in the couch. Sean calls her a drunk and she calls him an idiot. Pretty good assessments! They decide on a divorce and Maggie goes off to vomit.

The crew goes to a fire and discusses where to put Chief Jerry’s ashes. Lou says in the can, but Sean says that’s where the gambling money is. So Lou says, “No, the shitter, you asshole.” Lou says it should be stall No. 1 as that was Chief Jerry’s favorite. Sean says that’s his favorite, and the thought of Jerry’s face looking up at him when he’s on the can would make him tighten up. Lou tells him to drink prune juice as that makes you shit.

Next is the scene with Tommy and Janet visiting a therapist, trying to get help for their troubled relationship. It’s not verbatim, but close to it.

Janet: We were high school sweethearts – dated, had sex, got pregnant, got married.
Tommy: Early years were good.
Janet: Pretty good.
Tommy: I thought they were great – we drifted apart . . .
Janet: He was always emotionally distant because of the job.
Tommy: Firefighters had to keep emotions and all that crap at bay.
Janet: He’d work all day, come home and wouldn’t talk about it. I felt closed off and didn’t feel like having sex. .
Tommy: Yeah - 7 ½ years
Janet: We split up and he moved across the street so he could see the kids and keep an eye on me to see who I was dating.
Tommy: Yeah, you should have seen that group of guys . . . like Roger.
Janet: Roger said you tried to burn his face off on the stove.
Tommy: I don’t even cook. Then she moved to Ohio.
Janet: But I came back, and he decided to start dating Sheila, the widow of his cousin, who died on 9/11. Then Sheila got pregnant.
Tommy: I didn’t decide – it just happened. She had a miscarriage or abortion – I don’t know which. And then Janet got pregnant because she was sleeping with my brother, but I’m pretty sure it’s my baby because we were having an affair while she was having an affair with my now dead brother.
Janet: And then our son was killed by a drunk driver . . .
Tommy: Who my uncle then shot. And then there was the rape . . .

The therapist’s eyes have gotten big and round, and there’s a funny look on his face like he can’t believe what he’s just heard.

Janet: But we don’t have time to go into that right now (meaning the rape). We’ve been through a lot, but there’s still some passion left. What do you think?

The therapist smiles as if he’s just caught on to a giant hoax, excuses himself and leaves the room. He calls a friend and says, “Dick, you got me – almost. I almost fell for it, you rotten bastard!” He soon realizes Dick knows nothing about anything, and he sheepishly walks back into the room and tells them he won’t be having the time they’re going to need.

Tommy gives Franco marriage advice. He says, “Sex is out – tits, ass, and sex – nothing to do with marriage. Key things are listening, long conversations that you remember, hugging, buying furniture and spooning.” Franco says that Tommy was known as the all-time pussy hound of the FDNY, and is that what makes his marriage work? Tommy says, “Yeah, and the fact that my dick apparently doesn’t work with any other women.” Tommy is going though a rough patch with other women and the last scene will show it is now happening with his wife.

I love this show! There are so many incidents in each episode that it’s impossible to write about them all. Every scene is funny no matter what’s happening. And Denis Leary acts like he’s on Ritalin half the time with his fast talking and jumping around. It just keeps getting better and better!