Rescue Me

In the second episode,Tommy still can’t remember what happened in the fire – it’s no wonder as Sheila had drugged him. But he confronts her and makes her tell the truth, which is, of course, a lie. She says he was drunk – he actually had had nothing to drink – and started to make love to her but couldn’t get it up, even though she did that “special” thing she does. That set him off and he threw things around the house, starting the fire. They both want the two million dollars insurance money so must tell the same story to the investigators.

Mike visits his mom in the hospital who is dying of cancer. Doctor tells Mike her chances are slim to none. Mike, who is not too swift, asks if she’s going to get better and the doctor repeats the diagnosis. Mike says his mom’s a fighter like the Babe Ruth of cancer. The doctor says Babe Ruth died of cancer which was not the news Mike wanted to hear. His mom later asks Mike to kill her and he says he will. We’ll have to wait and see how that comes out.

Ritchie, Franco’s girlfriend’s autistic brother who also has Tourette’s Syndrome, calls Franco from a jewelry store where he put a ring in his mouth to steal for his Downe’s Syndrome girlfriend. He’s been arrested so Franco rushes over and makes Ritchie apologize to the big, black employee. Ritchie keeps saying “Nigger” in his really deep, deep voice and Franco rushes him out of there. He tells Ritchie he could get a beveled, glass doorknob that would keep her happy for a month. Ritchie asks if he knows where to get one of those.

Maggie throws out her porno DVDs and tells Sean she’s going to start using her “spank bank” instead. Sean’s surprised as he apparently didn’t know women did that. I guess he’s not too swift either which makes two on the crew. But they manage to put out fires, and that’s really all that matters. Sean asks Maggie if he’s in her “spank bank” and she says she’s entering him that afternoon. And then says, “Don’t you have somewhere to go?”

Janet calls Tommy to say that Colleen has left home. He asks why and Janet says probably because he’s facing jail, his affair with Colleen’s aunt, his drinking. Tommy comes back with, “How about your having an affair with my brother and then having an affair with me while you’re having an affair with my brother?” Janet says she knows Colleen has left for good as her bra and pantry drawers are empty.

In the last scene all the guys are having dinner in the station house. I think this is the best scene in the episode. Lou is one of the funniest guys in the cast and talks so fast all the time, but it’s hard to write down what he says as it’s too much, too fast. Anyway, Sean comes in and asks the guys if they ever use the old “spank bank.” They do, of course, and tell who they have in them. Tommy has Ellen DeGeneres and when they all give him funny looks, he says, “You guys ever seen her dance?” Franco has a bunch in his “spank bank” and even a few he’s met at banks that he calls his “bank spank bank.” Sean gives the names of his and the last one is Janet . . . he can’t come up with a last name. Franco says, “Oh shit!” and Lou grabs all the knives off the table as Tommy’s showing signs of possible violence. Sean explains it started at a picnic when Janet had a white shirt on that was wet from water balloons. So Tommy says, “You’re jerking off to my wife?” Sean says no, that Janet was trying to seduce him by “unblousing” herself but nothing happened. Tommy runs after Sean as he leaves the room and the bells ring for a fire. After the fire, Tommy takes the crew and the truck on a hunt for his daughter after receiving a tip as to her whereabouts. That will no doubt be one more black mark on Tommy’s record.

I think the last scene with all the guys was the best. They are such a good bunch of actors and play off each other so well. I love them in the house, around the table, making conversation. Those are the parts I like the most. They always make me laugh out loud which I consider a very good thing.