My life has been quite eventful lately. About a week ago I bought some white strips for my teeth to give me a nice, shiny look when Teri and I go to the Columbia Gorge Hotel. I did the double dose, two times a day for a while until I realized my upper lip was becoming very sore. Turns out I had bleached it, as well as my teeth. It was burning, white and swollen! The swelling is going down now and a little color is finally returning to my lip.
Last week the remote to my VCR stopped working. So I went to the store where I bought my TV and VCR and bought a Universal remote that apparently fits anything anywhere in the entire world. The salesman said if I wanted one like I had -- one made especially for my outfit -- I’d have to call a certain number in Toronto. Now why would I need to do that if my new one fit absolutely everything? So I got home and couldn’t get it out of the hard plastic that enclosed it. Why do they do that? It’s infuriating! My friends, Doyle and Diane, came over and Diane finally managed to cut the plastic so I could get it out. The next day I tried to put the batteries in, but I couldn’t open the cover. I apparently was doing something wrong. So I headed off to the bank where I go when I have problems. I took the remote with me and shoved it under the bullet-proof glass window they have between you and the teller. Where has the friendly, homey, personal atmosphere gone that banks used to have? Bullet-proof glass? What next? The first time I went to the bank after they had installed the bullet-proof glass, I leaned in to talk to the teller and nearly knocked myself out as my forehead banged against the glass! On this day, the teller looked somewhat surprised as I don’t imagine he gets many objects shoved under the glass that don’t have something to do with a deposit or withdrawal. I wonder if he thought it was some sort of timer for a bomb. But I quickly explained everything and asked him if he could open it up. He did in a second. So I came home, put the batteries in, sat down with the instruction book and tried to learn how to use the Universal remote. There were all sorts of numbers to be entered in many places – sometimes you had to try many before you might find the right ones. This went on and on until I wanted to flush it down the toilet! I had more important things to do . . . possibly watch “The Young and the Restless?” I can’t remember now, but I gave up and called Toronto, and they’re sending me one like I had before . . . at least it better be or I’m out of luck.
Now I just got back from the wine store in my neighborhood. I wore my black t-shirt that says “Got Wine?” on the front in big, white letters -- very appropriate for wine shopping. They know me there as I’ve taken them many bottles of wine from home that I couldn’t open myself, and they’ve always done it for me. They’ve usually had a hard time opening them as did I – something to do with the plastic corks some wine bottles have. They’ve been very nice to me and I’ve always bought a bottle after they opened mine. Today I told them I was getting along fine now opening mine as I had a new opener, but I needed a couple of bottles a little nicer than the $2.00 brand I usually drink. I said my daughters were coming, and Teri likes good wine. Cindy drinks beer -- any kind -- so I wasn’t worried about her. They picked out two bottles for me that they said were good, and I trust them. How could I not trust them after all the times they’ve opened my bottles for me?
Last week the remote to my VCR stopped working. So I went to the store where I bought my TV and VCR and bought a Universal remote that apparently fits anything anywhere in the entire world. The salesman said if I wanted one like I had -- one made especially for my outfit -- I’d have to call a certain number in Toronto. Now why would I need to do that if my new one fit absolutely everything? So I got home and couldn’t get it out of the hard plastic that enclosed it. Why do they do that? It’s infuriating! My friends, Doyle and Diane, came over and Diane finally managed to cut the plastic so I could get it out. The next day I tried to put the batteries in, but I couldn’t open the cover. I apparently was doing something wrong. So I headed off to the bank where I go when I have problems. I took the remote with me and shoved it under the bullet-proof glass window they have between you and the teller. Where has the friendly, homey, personal atmosphere gone that banks used to have? Bullet-proof glass? What next? The first time I went to the bank after they had installed the bullet-proof glass, I leaned in to talk to the teller and nearly knocked myself out as my forehead banged against the glass! On this day, the teller looked somewhat surprised as I don’t imagine he gets many objects shoved under the glass that don’t have something to do with a deposit or withdrawal. I wonder if he thought it was some sort of timer for a bomb. But I quickly explained everything and asked him if he could open it up. He did in a second. So I came home, put the batteries in, sat down with the instruction book and tried to learn how to use the Universal remote. There were all sorts of numbers to be entered in many places – sometimes you had to try many before you might find the right ones. This went on and on until I wanted to flush it down the toilet! I had more important things to do . . . possibly watch “The Young and the Restless?” I can’t remember now, but I gave up and called Toronto, and they’re sending me one like I had before . . . at least it better be or I’m out of luck.
Now I just got back from the wine store in my neighborhood. I wore my black t-shirt that says “Got Wine?” on the front in big, white letters -- very appropriate for wine shopping. They know me there as I’ve taken them many bottles of wine from home that I couldn’t open myself, and they’ve always done it for me. They’ve usually had a hard time opening them as did I – something to do with the plastic corks some wine bottles have. They’ve been very nice to me and I’ve always bought a bottle after they opened mine. Today I told them I was getting along fine now opening mine as I had a new opener, but I needed a couple of bottles a little nicer than the $2.00 brand I usually drink. I said my daughters were coming, and Teri likes good wine. Cindy drinks beer -- any kind -- so I wasn’t worried about her. They picked out two bottles for me that they said were good, and I trust them. How could I not trust them after all the times they’ve opened my bottles for me?
posted by I'm A Patsy - Gotta Problem With That? at
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