How has the recession affected the so-called Golden Years?

This couple looks like maybe they have reached their Golden Years, and they seem quite satisfied. Even with the economy down the toilet, Ethel, Duke and Earl are doing all right. Earl gets fleas and ringworm occasionally, but doesn’t everyone? The reason they are so content is because of their retirement account which has stayed right on track with its gazillion dollar interest amount. You see, they have PERS – Public Employees Retirement System. They worked for a school district for years and years as a cook and janitor – I don’t know which one did what and it doesn’t matter. What matters is their retirement which is fabulous. Some people on PERS make more after retirement than they did while working. But that’s enough about PERS – I’m sure you get my point. They also receive social security so they don’t have too many worries.

They live in a little house out in the country and spend a lot of time on their front porch waiting for the mailman, Mr. Greevey. When he arrives, Earl gets excited and runs to greet him. He humps Mr. Greevey’s leg all the way up the path until he gets to the porch. Mr. Greevey always smiles, and Earl is especially happy when he visits. That is usually the highlight of their day unless a neighbor drops by. Earl never humps a neighbor – only Mr. Greevey. They have a vegetable garden as does everyone these days. They also have some chickens that give them eggs and rabbits that they eat. They also eat the chickens on holidays. They don’t spend much money as they don’t do much – no vacations, trips or expensive clothes. So this enabled them to build up quite a little nest egg over the years which has nothing to do with the chicken nests. They are a good example for all of us.

They have 6 sons who very rarely visit. The boys know their folks have money saved and are waiting for the day when it will be theirs. They don’t e-mail as Ethel and Duke don’t have a computer or even a cell phone. They’ve never heard of Twitter – they think birds twitter which they do, actually. But the boys don’t come over to chit chat or check up on things. They just check on the bank account and then scurry off. Well, what the boys don’t know is that mom and pop aren’t stupid. They had a will drawn up which leaves everything to the Planned Parenthood Society because they could have really used their advice years ago. So, surprise, boys!

So I think Ethel, Duke and Earl are a pretty good family and have things well under control. So as long as Mr. Greevey keeps bringing the mail every day, they will continue to be one happy family . . . even with the occasional fleas and ringworm.