My friend, Diane, and I went to Manhattan last week and stayed with Teri and Mark for a week. We had a blast! The first day, I took Diane to Battery Park to ride on the ferry around the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. I had done that many years before so was acting as tour guide. We passed by the two destinations and then stopped for people to get off. I thought it must be the end of the tour even though we hadn’t explored the Statue of Liberty or Ellis Island, so we disembarked and stopped at a nice restaurant nearby in a sort of park area. We had a delicious lunch, but then I felt that I needed to expel some gas, or fart, as I would say. So I got up and moved to the center of the courtyard, away from people, and did my thing. As I turned and looked to the right, there was the huge Statue of Liberty right next to us! How could that be? I asked someone if we were in Battery Park and she said we were on Liberty Island. So we got on another ferry that went to Ellis Island during a horrible rain storm, so we stayed on and went back to Battery Park. I screwed up that trip royally and told Diane I was such a crappy tour guide that I was resigning from that business, and she was on her own from then on. She was delighted and did much better without me. She even went to mass at Trinity Church which is a block from Teri’s place and is absolutely gorgeous. I’m sure she said a prayer for me or whatever it is people do in church for those who need help.

Teri and Mark took us to the Broadway play “Boeing – Boeing” which was hilarious.
One day we took a guided tour of the UN by one of Mark’s friends who works for UNICEF. That was extremely interesting and something I had never expected to be able to see.

Over the weekend we went to Fire Island off Long Island. You go by ferry and are met at the dock by the friend with whom you’ll be staying. Teri’s friend had her big red wagon and we piled all of our stuff in it and were off to her house. She is a good friend and was so welcoming to us. The house was enormous and we just did our own thing. The bay was on the side where we arrived, and just a few blocks down the street, in the opposite direction, was the ocean. No cars on the island – just wagons, bikes and deer. We had a wonderful time there, and our hostess was very gracious. We sat on the beach and, of course, got sunburned. It was hazy, so I didn’t put on lotion until it was almost time to leave the beach. I seem to have trouble getting things right! So I was burned on my legs and feet. I had put some on my face earlier so I wasn’t a total loser.

We left the island Sunday and that evening we went to dinner on Stone Street which is near Teri’s place but lower down toward the river. It’s the oldest street in Manhattan and is all cobblestones – so much history there. We ate outside, and it was such a good way to end our trip. It had poured down rain a few minutes earlier, but it was nice for us. The above picture is of the four of us after we ate, and it was taken by the waiter with my new birthday present digital camera from Teri and Mark. Mark and I stayed up late one night so he could give me instructions on how to use it. I had had some wine, but I think I managed to retain at least some of what he said.

The next day we headed to the airport for what turned out to be “The Ride from Hell.” We had aisle seats, but there was a woman sitting in Diane’s seat with two little kids. She was supposed to be in the window seat and didn’t want to give it up. But it was Diane’s seat and Diane wasn’t about to trade as we both wanted good bathroom access. So the woman eventually moved but harassed Diane all the way home until finally the flight attendant worked things out so that Diane could move up one row to another aisle seat. That woman was a real bitch – she could have reserved an aisle seat herself beforehand. So Diane was really stressed out during the flight which was quite turbulent at times, and that didn’t help matters. And then, all of a sudden, the little boy in front of me threw up all over his mother, the seat, the floor, the back of the seat in front him and just about every place nearby. His parents seemed to be wonderful people and everyone tried to help in some way. And then he did it again! So it was a smelly flight, but I felt sorry for the family who took it all in stride. I was sitting by a woman and a man – the woman was next to me and I never saw her face. She was turned to the man the entire time – I think they met on the plane – and she talked non-stop for 5 ½ hours! When I’m on a plane, I want to read or sleep and not talk to someone all the way . . . or even part of the way. I couldn’t really hear what she was saying and didn’t try to listen, but I did hear her say things like “Where was it at?” and “Her and her brother work together.” Doesn’t anyone use good grammar anymore? That frustrated me even more than the fact that she never shut up the entire time.

So we got home with a lot of crazy memories. Teri and Mark, you were so good to us and we loved every minute with you. Thanks so much for putting up with us for a week.

The next evening at home, I watched my favorite late night show – Craig Ferguson. Now that I have a DVR I can watch him anytime I want. I watched a couple of his shows, and they made me laugh out loud – I guess that’s LOL. I love his show – he always looks rather disheveled and bounces around the stage waving his hands and arms. His laugh and accent make me laugh, and he’s very cute. On this episode he was talking about men’s magazines and one that asked what ten things a man wants a woman to do to please him. So Craig says there was only one thing they want a woman to do – just show up! And also bring a friend and maybe move around a little more! He also said that fat people with tiny little feet make him laugh. I love him. So after watching him, I decided I was home and could get into my old routine of Seinfeld reruns, L&O reruns and Craig. What a life I have! And as Craig would say, “I KNOOOOW!”