This goose could use a good chemical peel!

I live by a river where many geese gather at certain times. I love to see them, but it’s hard picking your way through all their poop. For several years, there was a huge white goose with them who challenged you if you came too close to him. He wasn’t like the other geese. He was very big and very mean. I couldn’t resist, so one day I took my camera and some goose food which was probably what I had for lunch – geese eat anything – and went down to where the geese were gathered. I lay down on the dirt path and waited. The big white goose came up and stood over me, pecking at our lunch in my hands. I don’t know what people thought as they walked by, but they sure steered clear of me. I didn’t really care as I got a great picture. I also escaped without being pecked to death or pooped on. I took this picture while I was lying there on my back!

Another time I went out to feed some squirrels in the same park, hoping to get a good photo. They were quite tame and came running up to eat the walnuts right out of my hand. I became bored quite soon, which I do frequently, as they were chewing too slowly and had ceased to hold my interest. So one of them, probably taking offense at my inattention, bit the tip of my finger and hung on. I screamed obscenities and tried to shake him off. That took a while after which I raced home and called my doctor. The nurse said to come right in for a tetanus shot. As I walked into his office, the nurse announced to the doctor as he walked by, “Patsy was attacked by a squirrel!” He rolled his eyes, shook his head and kept on walking. That was certainly not the kind of reaction I expected from the man who had seen me naked many times and checked all my orifices for God knows what. He could have at least thrown his arms around me to comfort me. But then I guess the HMO doctrine doesn’t allow time for that. When I was a little girl, we had a doctor who would come from town clear out to the country to administer to us. I don’t believe HMOs had a strangle hold then, but I’m sure they were working on it.