My day at the oncologist’s office

I saw my oncologist this week which coincided with “Cancer Awareness Month.” I didn’t plan it that way. It just happens that two years ago I was diagnosed with cancer of the breast in the month of October. It was a shock, but I said “Let’s take it out tomorrow.” It all happened very quickly. I had a lumpectomy and 6 weeks of radiation. Everything went very smoothly, and the room where I waited for the radiation process at the hospital had a huge television set, usually tuned to the “Today” show which was right up my alley. So I don’t have any bad memories at all. It didn’t slow me down and I’m feeling fine now. I don’t like to admit that I had cancer, probably because I hate to even say the word. But it’s always there in the back of my mind.

But to get back to the oncologist’s office. . . it was overflowing with people – young and old – some helping elderly parents and some in walkers. I looked at them all and wondered what sort of cancer they had -- were they recovering, were they newly diagnosed, did they have any hope left and why do so many people have cancer? It is such a horrible disease that sneaks up on you when you’re not looking. But once you’ve had it, you’re always looking. As I waited for my turn – I had a very long wait – I looked for some good reading material to take my mind off the office scene. But the magazines were hopeless! There were no “People,” “Star,” Enquirer” or even “GQ” which would have raised my spirits considerably. Who wants to read about cooking, pretty homes, finances or housekeeping when you’re waiting to see your cancer doctor? NO ONE!!!

When I was finally called in for my blood test, I told them my GP had taken all my blood the week before at my yearly physical, and I had none left. They all laughed at me, but I wasn’t kidding. The first woman tried two different places and there was not a drop. She was getting nervous and asked another woman to do it, but she refused! So they got the woman they called “The Pro.” I asked her if she ever watched Seinfeld and she said she did but felt guilty about it. I asked why and she said because they are all so narcissistic on the show. So I told her that’s the reason I watch it – because they are narcissistic, mean, rude, irreverent, lazy . . . I could go on and on. That show makes me laugh which I like. I told her about the episode where Elaine was banned from all doctor’s offices in Manhattan and even a veterinarian where she went as a last resort for a rash. She was banned because she made too much trouble. I asked the nurse if they would ban me if they couldn’t find any blood, and she said they wouldn’t and just kept staring at my arm. She finally managed to squeeze a little out and sent me on my way. I think they were all relieved when I left.

I finally saw the oncologist who said I was fine. And that was that. I do have a couple of suggestions how things could be made better. Get some good magazines in waiting rooms. My hair stylist, Steve, has many “People” and other magazines of that kind. I think his wife is responsible for that. So I go to my hair appointments early just to read. I don’t do that with doctors’ offices . . . ever. But my best suggestion would be for someone to please find a cure for cancer or a vaccination so no one would have to go through what they do now. In the meantime, I am so very thankful for the many doctors who have helped me and others like me.