“Time” magazine, August 21, 2006
I was looking through this issue and came across an article entitled “New Tricks for Living Past 96.” I immediately thought, “All right – it’s about time someone came up with that idea.” I clicked on the website which is Eons.com, but the first thing I saw was a place for me to put my age. Now that’s just too personal, so I clicked off and went back to the written article. There were several questions from the Eons longevity calculator, whatever the hell that is, so I concentrated on them.
1. Do you have family living nearby? My daughters aren’t nearby but I have other family members and many friends, so I think I have that one covered.
2. How many years of formal education do you have? I’m a college graduate but was never very formal. I hope that’s good enough.
3. Do you floss your teeth? I do even better than that! I floss after every meal, push a toothpick contraption between my teeth and use a tiny little brush that I squeeze between all my teeth. Then I brush. You can’t do much better than that. I do the evening routine, lying on my bed while watching Seinfeld. He’s a big part of my dental care routine. When my friends call me at 6:30pm, they don’t need to ask what I’m doing or where I am . . . they already know.
4. Do you have a bowel movement at least every other day? Do I ever! Sometimes as many as 3 a day. Some days I consider setting up permanent residence in my bathroom.
I don’t know how I came out on these questions. I’ll just have to wait and see if I make it to 96.
My daughters sometimes kid me about being obsessive what with the dental routine and my preoccupation with my bowel habits. I think they’re just jealous and wish they could be more like me. No way am I obsessive. I can’t imagine why anyone would even think such a . . . . . . . . uhh . . . wait just a minute. I really have to go. I just noticed one of my paintings on the wall that’s a little out of line with the others, and I have to straighten it RIGHT NOW!
I was looking through this issue and came across an article entitled “New Tricks for Living Past 96.” I immediately thought, “All right – it’s about time someone came up with that idea.” I clicked on the website which is Eons.com, but the first thing I saw was a place for me to put my age. Now that’s just too personal, so I clicked off and went back to the written article. There were several questions from the Eons longevity calculator, whatever the hell that is, so I concentrated on them.
1. Do you have family living nearby? My daughters aren’t nearby but I have other family members and many friends, so I think I have that one covered.
2. How many years of formal education do you have? I’m a college graduate but was never very formal. I hope that’s good enough.
3. Do you floss your teeth? I do even better than that! I floss after every meal, push a toothpick contraption between my teeth and use a tiny little brush that I squeeze between all my teeth. Then I brush. You can’t do much better than that. I do the evening routine, lying on my bed while watching Seinfeld. He’s a big part of my dental care routine. When my friends call me at 6:30pm, they don’t need to ask what I’m doing or where I am . . . they already know.
4. Do you have a bowel movement at least every other day? Do I ever! Sometimes as many as 3 a day. Some days I consider setting up permanent residence in my bathroom.
I don’t know how I came out on these questions. I’ll just have to wait and see if I make it to 96.
My daughters sometimes kid me about being obsessive what with the dental routine and my preoccupation with my bowel habits. I think they’re just jealous and wish they could be more like me. No way am I obsessive. I can’t imagine why anyone would even think such a . . . . . . . . uhh . . . wait just a minute. I really have to go. I just noticed one of my paintings on the wall that’s a little out of line with the others, and I have to straighten it RIGHT NOW!
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