“Parade” magazine article, Sunday, July 23, 2006
On that Sunday morning, I sat down to breakfast, as I usually do, with my food and the “Parade” magazine. I like the celebrity gossip on the back of the front page and the celebrity interview on the back page. I don’t know if I could get through breakfast without it and hate to think what would happen to me if they stopped printing it. I was having waffles that morning. They weren’t the good kind my mom used to make from scratch – they weren’t even the sort of good ones I used to make on my wedding present waffle iron which was really, really old. The last time I used my waffle iron it was for company I had over for breakfast, and it was a complete disaster. The waffles stuck to the old waffle iron, and there was no way I could pick them out. I got so upset, I grabbed it and ran outside to the garbage and dumped it all. When I came back in I fixed something else for the startled company – probably some sort of cereal. This Sunday I was having frozen waffles you toast in the toaster which I think was a fantastic invention.
As I started eating and reading, I came across an article entitled “Could You Have A Rare Disease?” I immediately shouted, “Yes, I could!!” A few of the diseases mentioned were Cat eye syndrome, Stiff person syndrome, Jumping Frenchmen of Maine condition, Prune belly syndrome, SCID and SCAD. I hurried to the internet to look them up to see if I qualified for anything. Prune belly was described as “lack of development of abdominal muscles, causing the skin of the abdomen to wrinkle like a prune.” I figured that could be a possibility as the years went by until I came to the place where it mentioned “undescended testicle.” I then crossed Prune belly off the list. Of all the diseases I checked, Jumping Frenchmen of Maine condition interested me the most. One of the symptoms was “unusually extreme startle reaction.” I sometimes jump when the phone rings. Could I possibly have Jumping Frenchmen of Maine condition?
When I finally left the computer and got back to my waffle, it was cold and the syrup and butter had congealed on top. But I still had my “Parade.”
On that Sunday morning, I sat down to breakfast, as I usually do, with my food and the “Parade” magazine. I like the celebrity gossip on the back of the front page and the celebrity interview on the back page. I don’t know if I could get through breakfast without it and hate to think what would happen to me if they stopped printing it. I was having waffles that morning. They weren’t the good kind my mom used to make from scratch – they weren’t even the sort of good ones I used to make on my wedding present waffle iron which was really, really old. The last time I used my waffle iron it was for company I had over for breakfast, and it was a complete disaster. The waffles stuck to the old waffle iron, and there was no way I could pick them out. I got so upset, I grabbed it and ran outside to the garbage and dumped it all. When I came back in I fixed something else for the startled company – probably some sort of cereal. This Sunday I was having frozen waffles you toast in the toaster which I think was a fantastic invention.
As I started eating and reading, I came across an article entitled “Could You Have A Rare Disease?” I immediately shouted, “Yes, I could!!” A few of the diseases mentioned were Cat eye syndrome, Stiff person syndrome, Jumping Frenchmen of Maine condition, Prune belly syndrome, SCID and SCAD. I hurried to the internet to look them up to see if I qualified for anything. Prune belly was described as “lack of development of abdominal muscles, causing the skin of the abdomen to wrinkle like a prune.” I figured that could be a possibility as the years went by until I came to the place where it mentioned “undescended testicle.” I then crossed Prune belly off the list. Of all the diseases I checked, Jumping Frenchmen of Maine condition interested me the most. One of the symptoms was “unusually extreme startle reaction.” I sometimes jump when the phone rings. Could I possibly have Jumping Frenchmen of Maine condition?
When I finally left the computer and got back to my waffle, it was cold and the syrup and butter had congealed on top. But I still had my “Parade.”
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