What is a Caucus?

I checked my dictionary that I've had since college, so I hope nothing much has changed with the caucus. Dictionary says: " A meeting of a group of persons belonging to the same political party or faction usu. to decide upon policies and candidates." Actually, the caucuses are useless as the same people who are picked for the caucus in their neighborhood can vote however they want when the time comes for the primary.

That's all we've been hearing about lately - what's happening in Iowa. We hear about how much money is being spent on the negative attack ads - I seem to remember all the republican candidates saying they were going to run a clean fight. That went down the toilet pretty quickly. At first they just said nasty things about Obama, but when that went nowhere, they started in on each other. They are spending millions of dollars on sleazy ads that could be doing so much good elsewhere. Aren't they aware of all the kids in this country that go hungry every day and don't even have a place to live? Is it possible they just don't give a shit? How do the Iowans feel about all those candidates greeting them every time they go to the store or just go outside to get their mail. There's some candidate ready to shake their hand and give a little campaign speech. I would hate it. But then I would never live in Iowa.

I don't see how they can find fault with Obama as the car industry has rallied and is doing well, there are more jobs all the time, he took care of bin Laden, he got the troops out of Iraq and many more high marks for his administration. But the republicans find fault with everything he does. They must know it was their administration under George W. Bush that started the whole damn thing when he started the war with Iraq under false pretenses - WMDs. Now that has spread all over the world and who knows how it will end up.

The picture could be an Iowa family waiting for their caucus group to show up. The coffee and cake are ready and the little secret ballots are by everyone's plate. I imagine the two little kids will be put away someplace as I don't think they are caucus material. Maybe they could go someplace with Ron Paul and his great grandchildren and play on the swings - he should have great grandchildren by now

somewhere.

ALCATRAZ - new Fox show airing premiere episode 1/16, 8pm to 10pm. Will resume regular time slot January 23 at 9pm - 10pm

This begins by telling how on March 21, 1963, 302 men disappeared from Alcatraz at night and were never heard from again. But now one has reappeared and killed a couple people. Detective Rebecca Madsen (Sarah Jones) and Dr. Diego Soto (Jorge Garcia) are on the case. During their discovery, they meet Emerson Hauser (Sam Neill) and Dr. Lucy Banerjee (Parminder Nagra) who are supposedly working a secret something or other to find the missing men. No one else knows about it, and they enlist the help of Rebecca and Diego. I don't trust Emerson and I'm right. The two detectives think they are going to be in on everything, but it's not going to be good for them. They don't know that, but I know it which doesn't help them one hell of a lot!

So far they've found one man, and Emerson put him away in a prison where he'll probably be tortured day and night. So now they have 301 left to find. It won't be easy as they don't look any older than they were in 1963. That makes it easier on the audience though, as no one wants to look at old people starring in a show. It also turns out that there is a lot more to it - a lot of bad things that went on years ago and will come out now. Emerson doesn't want that happening as he's bad, but it will clear up a lot of things for the cute little detective Madsen whose family was in police work. This looks interesting to me and I think it's really worth watching. Hope you do too.

"The Finder" - new Fox show on January 12 at 9:00 to 10:00PM

I watched the premiere episode of "The Finder" the other day and found it to be highly entertaining, amusing and exciting. It was entitled "An Orphan Walks into a Bar" which was just about right. The orphan is Maddie Hasson who is very good in her part. Michael Clarke Duncan owns the bar and Mercedes Masohn plays a sexy Deputy U.S. Marshal. Geoff Stults is the lead actor who is charming, cute and sexy. Stults is the Finder who has a preternatural gift for finding things to the point of obsession. He can be funny at times and keeps the show interesting. All the actors are good which makes the whole thing fun to watch. This takes place mostly at the "Ends of the Earth" bar on Looking Glass Key in Florida where the actors congregate.

Good show. I hope everyone will watch it.

I think I'll start a foundation . . . but just what is a foundation?

I'll get to my foundation idea pretty soon, but first about my birds. I have my favorite, Black Larry, a sparrow. He's so dark all over I call him black. The other day I watched him hop into his water container to take a bath. He filled the whole thing up as it's small and he's big. I was extremely excited - kind of like seeing your little baby take her first steps! That could have been Teri or Cindy! I since have added a bigger water container. Recently there appeared another sparrow that is bigger than Black Larry and sort of scruffy looking. He doesn't mix with the other birds and sits alone on the ledge like Larry. I didn't know what to call him until I saw Newt Gingrich walking across a stage on TV. Newt looked short and puffy, like my new bird. So it hit me that I should name my new family member Newt.

I watched part of the Republican debate the other night - I think it was about the 450th debate - I lose track. I didn't watch much as it didn't interest me. Republicans don't interest me in the least, and they never have anything to say that makes any sense. But when I saw Newt walking on the stage with his stomach puffing out like my sparrow and also his wife in the audience with her helmet blond hair made out of cement, I thought of my bird family and how much more interesting they were. Black Larry and Newt are the only ones I've named as the others all look alike and aren't sparrows. I hate to call my sparrow Newt as I can't stand the man. He is a slimy person and comes with a lot of bad baggage. My Newt is good and just hops around minding his own business. I don't think the other Newt could even hop and he minds everyone's business.

Now for the foundation. I wrote recently about how many people, upon retiring, become consultants making scads of money. I gave up on that idea, but then I realized I kept hearing about people who start a "Foundation." Just what does a foundation do? It seems that everyone has a foundation of some sort. Do they collect money from people who want to support their foundation? How do you start a foundation - do you just say, "I'm starting a foundation and need money?" That sounds simple enough, but wouldn't you need a reason for the foundation? I could start one for Black Larry - I think I'd leave Newt out of it as I don't want anything Republican in the name. Maybe people would send birdseed and money for him. Of course, I would keep the money and give him the birdseed. I'm going to have think about this.

My first and last shopping experience at KOHL'S Department Store

The other day my friend and I went to Kohl's to finish our Christmas shopping. I had never been there, but my friend told me I could open a charge account and get 15% off. That sounded pretty good to me. I don't have credit cards as I don't buy things I can't afford. But I could just cut it up after I got it and it had served its purpose. So I went and bought a few things and then got up to the counter and said I would like to open a charge account. Then came all the questions about how much money I made a month which is pretty hysterical - like nothing! So we wasted a little more time and she punched some numbers and told me they wouldn't accept me. I asked why and she said she didn't know - actually we both knew - but she said they would send me a letter. So I paid for the stuff and we left.

A couple of days later I got a letter from Kohl's. It listed many factors for the reason I was declined. So I decided I owed them a letter. The following is part of what I wrote:

"So yesterday I get a letter from you giving the reason why I was turned down. It listed 5 factors, but it boiled down to 'Excessive obligations in relation to income.' This all means I am poor - I already knew that! I didn't plan on going on a shopping spree with my new card and never paying you back, therefore adding up much interest in your favor although that is the purpose of your credit cards, isn't it?

You obtained my credit score from Experian which is 901. That's pretty high, isn't it? My two others are also high. I keep track. I imagine you checked me out and even found out what time I take a dump in the morning after breakfast! Everyone knows everything about everybody these days - nothing is secret or private anymore. So I won't be shopping at KOHL'S anymore."

I wish I had looked at the J LO and Marc Anthony collections. I wonder if anyone even buys them? J LO doesn't wear anything when she performs and Marc looks like a sleazy gangster in the TV ads. But I won't be going back to check them out since Kohl's is off my shopping list.

The Big Explosion

I'm usually pretty regular with my bathroom matters every morning, but last week I went off the beaten path. I felt like I had more to accomplish, but I never wanted to strain myself as I was afraid I might get an aneurysm due to the extra, prolonged straining. My mother told me that years ago, and that seems to be one of the only pieces of advice she gave me. There must have been more. She must have given me advice on what to do on my wedding night, but I think she forgot to include the vodka. My mom didn't drink.

So my problem went on for several days until I finally decided it was time for the milk of magnesia which no one should ever be without. I drank some before I went to bed and got up expecting to have everything cleared up. But I still couldn't do the deed. I waited forever and ever, trying to avoid an aneurysm. Finally, it happened! It felt as if I had expelled a large baseball, and I heard a big BOOM!! It was like an explosion! I was so happy - more so than after my wedding night.

I was feeling pretty good then, so I went to the kitchen to do some stupid housework. I noticed my salt shaker that I rarely use but have it right by the stove. I saw two tiny, little black things in the salt, and upon closer investigation, I found that they were little sugar ants! They must have crawled up the side of the shaker and into the holes. I got them out and hope that more don't come. I have those ants all over periodically. I even found one crawling on my collar the other day! Sometimes I see them crawling on the floor when I'm on the toilet, and I bend way over to get them. Some day I'll fall on my head probably. I can imagine them crawling into my nose and ears and even my mouth when I'm asleep. I don't know if my mouth hangs open when I sleep - and do I drool? That wouldn't be a pretty sight. I put out ant stuff that is supposed to make them come and eat and then take it home to their loved ones to eat and they'll all die. Well, it works in that it makes them come in hoards and eat, but they never leave or die. I don't know what my mom would say about that, but I know it wouldn't include vodka.

I guess that's all the news from my house today. It's obvious I lead a pretty exciting life!

Larry and his bird family

It really isn't his family because he doesn't like to be around them. The top picture shows some miscellaneous birds at my bird feeder. It hangs from the middle of my deck,

and so far no squirrels have been able to access it although they look at it quite a bit.

The bottom picture is Larry, sitting by the water in the garlic container lid. He sits there a lot. He gets really puffy and fat - maybe he's sleeping. The other birds don't do that - they just eat up a storm and then fly away. Larry will sit there after dark and just sleep. I love it that he does that! I feel like he's part of my family since I don't have any family in town. Larry will chase the other birds away from him and never wants to be with them. He's a real loner - maybe that's the way sparrows are with other birds. I know my mom didn't like sparrows, and when she was sewing little pearl beads on my wedding dress before my wedding, she had a gun beside her on the grass on the lawn. Sparrows were trying to get into a swallow's nest and my mom liked the little swallows. So when a sparrow would fly up my mom would take a shot! But I don't have that problem, and I also don't have a gun. Larry doesn't ever use the feeder. I read that sparrows just eat off the ground or a ledge. So that's what he does. He runs around under the feeder and eats what the other birds throw out!

My deck is a mess - it's covered in bird shit. They sit on my deck chairs and shit all over them. They also shit all over the Safeway bag I use to cover the birdseed. The birdseed is in a big tupperware container and the birds fly up and stare at it! So with the bag covering it, it doesn't seem to bother them. I have friends who invite people over for cocktails on their decks in the summer, but would I ever do that? I don't think so. If I cleaned it all up before company came, they would still have time to shit on everything. So we just sit inside with the air conditioning on while the birds have fun on the deck. I thought maybe Safeway would pay me for advertising their store on my deck, but they probably didn't hear about it. And now with all the shit on it, they'd probably bill me for something like the banks do.

I love having the birds so close. They seem more accustomed to seeing me walking around in my living room. I wonder if I left the sliding door open, they would come hopping in? I don't think I'll try that!