I'm A Patsy - Gotta Problem With That?

Wednesday, January 27, 2010


Brownie Morrison is having a grand opening!!!

This Saturday, January 30, Brownie Morrison is having a grand opening. There will be cupcakes, crudités and hors d’oeuvres. The last two I mentioned I call tiny food as I don’t know how to spell them and always have to look them up. I hate to look up things unless it’s about sex or gossip which is usually the same thing. Google is always there to help me out – I’m so glad I don’t live in China . . . for many reasons.

Brownie will have all her stuff on display – cards, refrigerator magnets, jewelry, art work by a local artist, t-shirts and much more. She’ll have the Betty Broderick story running on her TV so everyone can see what this is all about. She’ll be recruiting new members for the I ETA PI sorority which is all about Betty, the bitch, who murdered her ex-husband and new wife. The sorority was founded by Cindy. Cindy, Teri and I are the board of directors and our group picture is above. That picture was taken at Teri’s wedding – I’m on the left, Teri in the middle and Cindy on the right. That was some time before the organization of I ETA PI, but you use what you have on hand and I did. Cindy is the President, Teri is the Godfather and I’m the House Mother. Cindy’s hoping to pick up some new members this Saturday.

So you better come Saturday to this event or Cindy will hunt you down and punish you!!!

Monday, January 25, 2010


Reading is good for you

I love to read. My daughters, Teri and Cindy, love to read. I used to read to them when they were tiny, and then they grew up and could read for themselves. I miss those times a lot, and when I think of them, it makes me sad. I wonder what’s the matter with me getting sad over things like that, but where my girls are concerned I can get sad over just looking at a baby picture. Is there something wrong with me . . . other than the obvious? In the picture, Cindy is reading the National Geographic. She's probably looking at all the naked pictures in it. I love that magazine.

I read a newspaper every day and many magazines, but the news is so horrific what with the horrible devastation in Haiti, our military men being killed every day in Afghanistan and Iraq and Scott Brown pimping his daughters out on national TV. So I search the papers for something a little amusing and this week I found several which I will list.

A teenager was flying to Kentucky to visit his grandmother, and while on the plane he began strapping black cubes and wires to his body! A flight attendant became alarmed – actually, it probably scared the crap out of her – and she alerted the captain who diverted the plane to a close airport. Turns out the black boxes are called tefillin which hold prayers and are used in the morning prayer ritual of Orthodox Jewish men. I’m wondering why he couldn’t have done that before he boarded the plane. Don’t Orthodox Jews know about the new restrictions in airports and on planes? Or are they like Amish people who don’t use modern transportation but make great heaters. I don’t go to church so don’t have to strap anything to my body, but I would like to get a hold of some spanx.

My second news item was that Sarah Palin and John McCain are going to campaign together! I thought I was reading an old newspaper, but it’s true. He is seeking re-election to the U.S. Senate and probably thinks having the sexy librarian lady at his side again will help. People love looking at her even though she makes no sense when she speaks. But she winks a lot and says comin’ and goin’ and talkin’ and blah, blah, blah. So John feels like people would rather look at her than at him which is probably true. I saw recently she had curled her hair like a teenager back in the ‘50s. I think she’s thinkin’ and plannin’ all the time.

My third item is of a disgruntled former firefighter who left a package outside City Hall in a Washington town. They didn’t know what to do so called the Portland bomb squad. They couldn’t figure it out until they exploded it and found that it contained poop! They caught the firefighter who had been fired from his job for insubordination. Can you imagine the mess and smell when that thing exploded?

My last item is of a Wisconsin woman who was arrested for shoplifting. When they went to her home to get her, she started screaming at three children and then stripped to her underwear and told the officers she couldn’t be arrested since she’d be naked! Guess she was arrested anyway and will spend 6 months in jail. Getting naked must not be a very good way to avoid prosecution.

I’m hoping to find some more fun news interspersed with all the tragic happenings we hear about continually.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


TV time

Here’s Teri and Cindy preparing to watch some television program . . . possibly Golden Globes? I watched them the other night and thought they moved along quite smoothly, but they weren’t exciting. Maybe they were holding it down out of respect for the Haitian disaster. Ricky Gervais did a good job as master of ceremonies, but I always feel like he’s too full of himself. He doesn’t come across that well with me. I was glad Jeff Bridges won for best actor – he’s been great for many years, and it’s about time for him to be recognized for it. James Cameron is another one who seems to be pleased with himself as well he should be, I guess. But I’d like to see him a little more humble. Silly me!

I like the red carpet as I always want to see who looks good and just how good! Mariah Carey was there and had many photo shots. She was in black with her gigantic boobs hanging practically out of the dress. Does that woman ever wear anything where her boobs are covered? Silly me again! I liked Sandra Bullock’s dress – it was purple and gorgeous. At times it looked transparent in places – very interesting!

I liked Julianna Margulies winning best actress in a television drama. I’ve always thought she’s a very good actress but wish she’d divorce her scumbag husband and take him for everything he has. And why doesn’t she straighten out her son who is out of control? It’s only TV so I shouldn’t take it too seriously. I was delighted that “Glee” won for best comedy series. It was fun to see them all together with Ryan Murphy, the writer of “Glee” and “Nip/Tuck.” Ryan made a snarky remark and I loved that as that’s the way he writes both of his shows. He’s talented. I was surprised that Chloe Sevigny won for best supporting actress in “Big Love.” I’ve seen bits and pieces of that show and think it’s a big loser. Why would anyone makes a series about a guy with 3 wives, or are there more now? Are there enough people interested in that sort of thing? Apparently so. I was so happy that Kevin Bacon won for best actor in a miniseries or motion picture – “Taking Chance.” He’s another one who’s been around quite a while and was very deserving.

Cindy called me this morning and was screaming about seeing the Activia commercial on the “Today” show many times this morning. I was watching the same thing and we both wondered why it’s shown over and over again. Whenever Cindy sees it, she thinks, “I’ve got to have my hair done.” That’s because Jamie Lee Curtis has gray hair in the ad. Makes sense to me. I asked Cindy if she knew what Activia was for, and she wasn’t sure. Neither am I, but we’re both getting sick of it. Possibly we’re watching too much TV? I don’t think so.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

“The Simpsons” and other funny happenings

I watched the DVD sent to me of the 20th anniversary special of “The Simpsons” and also watched the show on Sunday. I didn’t write about it before, but will now. This show is so not politically correct and is sometimes crude and obnoxious, but it’s so darned funny and people love it! I’m surprised that Fox would allow it to be broadcast when it began 20 years ago. But Fox surprises me in many ways. Their news channel is so conservative I wouldn’t be caught dead watching it . . . maybe Shepard Smith sometimes. And yet they have programs on television that go against the conservative grain. For instance, “Nip/Tuck” is one of the most graphic shows I have ever seen except on HBO. Fox is an enigma as far as I’m concerned. But they seem to know what people want even if they might not agree. After all, it all comes down to money which we all love. I hear they have a new segment on their news show called “Hair and Unbalanced.” Guess I’ll give that a pass.

Morgan Spurlock wrote and directed the special and had “The Simpsons” visit many countries all over the world where they are loved. They also visited Rio de Janeiro where they are definitely not loved. He interviewed Paula Gobbi, former head of foreign press association, who said Brazilians are like adolescents who are still very sensitive to criticism. They didn’t like the portrayal of teleboobies, kidnappings and rats that were painted like skittles running through alleys. Little things like that offended them and they haven’t forgotten or forgiven. They couldn’t seem to realize that it was all done in fun. I must admit the skittles rats were pretty cute! They also didn’t like the remarks about the monkeys chasing people which I guess they do. When asked if the people understood the fact that “The Simpsons” offends everyone, she answered “No.” I think now I can understand why David Goldman had such a horrible time getting his son, Sean, out of Brazil. I think the people there are very unworldly and are several generations behind the rest of the world.

I wonder what they would think of the sketch on SNL last week that had me laughing out loud . . . or LOL which a teenager would say. It was the “Thomas Peepers Insurance Co.” and Thomas was creeping around outside a house in the dark and peeping in all the windows, especially windows with girls inside. The voiceover was saying what a great company it was and how they would be with you day and night, obviously, and wouldn’t even charge anything! Thomas went from window to window and finally ran away at the sound of a siren. I thought it was hysterical, but then that’s just my sense of humor. I don’t imagine Brazilians would understand.

Wednesday, January 06, 2010


Déjà vu all over again

In an earlier posting, I mentioned a New Year’s Eve in Manhattan where I fainted and fell off the toilet several times. I certainly wasn’t planning on doing anything like that this year, but I caught a cold over Christmas and had a fever with it. A fever isn’t good news for me as that’s when I may faint. So by New Year’s Eve, I was feeling pretty crappy and feverish and decided to go to the bathroom. That was a big mistake! As I was getting up, I think I passed out for a couple seconds and fell back down on the toilet, hitting my tailbone on the edge and my back on the edge of the door. I sat there like I did on the plane from New York 10 years ago with my head between my knees. When I finally realized Mark, my son-in-law, wasn’t coming to my rescue like he did before, I decided I was on my own. I sort of rolled off the toilet and onto the carpeting in my bedroom. I lay there a while and then crawled to my bed.

Now, a week later, my butt is really sore as is my back. I think I’m getting better as I don’t groan as much when I get up and down. Mark is in the picture above, mixing up cocktails for that New Year’s Eve 10 years ago. I think about that time I was falling off the toilet for about the second time and Mark was getting ready to come to my rescue. But Mark wasn’t here this year which was too bad for me.

So I wish everyone a Happy New Year and hope no one fell off a toilet.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

DHS – what does it actually do?

I’m getting sick of reading about how DHS mishandled the Jeanette Maples case and left her to die in her filthy home. DHS doesn’t have a good track record; in fact, I think DHS stinks. Jeanette Maples, 15, was abused by her mother and stepfather for years. Even though many people reported the abuse to authorities, nothing was ever done by DHS – NOTHING – during all that time. Her teachers and friends noticed bruises on her body, she was always hungry, never wanted to go home – even with all those signs of abuse, nothing was ever done by DHS. To quote “The Oregonian,” “DHS officials won’t comment because they’ve convened a critical incident response team review to examine how the agency handled the case.” When I read that it reminded me of how government organizations always form a committee to investigate something and we never hear the results. It’s all just forgotten. But DHS says the CIRT investigation is aggressively reviewing all the information. Why don’t I believe that?

There were so many signs displayed by Jeanette throughout the years. She had to wear ratty clothing but she still wanted to be in school – away from home. She was sad when she had to go home at the end of the day. However, after the eighth grade in 2008, she was home-schooled by her mother. She now had no contact with the outside world and any friends. Her siblings were allowed to attend school where they seemed happy, but Jeanette was all alone in that filthy house with an abusive mother who beat her.

To quote “The Oregonian” again, they say “Even though the DHS investigation will not be made public for weeks, one child welfare advocate in Oregon is confident the agency is making important strides and diligently examining its mistakes.” But haven’t we heard this for years? How long does it take to happen? And how could this child undergo such horrific treatment for so many years and never have anyone come to her aid? Isn’t that the purpose of DHS? The whole thing is almost unbelievable, but it actually happened. I hope we, the public, will demand more from agencies we put there to protect our children. They must be accountable for their actions if they really do act.

Sunday, January 03, 2010

“Human Target” – new Fox series - also repeat episode of “Glee”

I just watched the premiere episode of “Human Target” which airs Sunday, January 17, at 8pm. I think it’s my kind of show! Mark Valley plays a security expert with Chi McBride who brings him jobs but worries about him all the time, and Jackie Earle Haley who is sort of the cleaner but with not always ethical actions. They are like a family, but not a very functional family. “Human Target” has been around a long time – first in a 1953 issue of “Detective Comics” – and off and on in television and comic books. I think this will be a hit as the cast is so good. Mark Valley is cute and funny and willing to do anything to protect someone. Now that’s my kind of man! His sense of humor is what really attracts me, and all the action – and there’s plenty of that – helps to keep the pace up. I’ve watched Mark in “Boston Legal” and “Fringe” where the bad guys killed him . . . or did they? You never know with “Fringe.” A quote from Michael Logan in TV Guide says, “He’s just your average wiseass adrenaline junkie with Mensa-level smarts and a big, fat death wish.” As time goes on, more will come to light as to what makes Valley the way he is and just where the two others fit in. It should be a good show and I’m hoping everyone watches it.

Last week I watched the repeat episode of “Glee” – “The Throwdown.” Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch) was especially mean in this one – she’s a devious bitch who’s trying to get Will Schuester (Matthew Morrison) out of his job as director of the glee club at the high school where she is head of Cheerios, the rally squad. That was nothing new for Sue as she’s been trying all year to make him lose his job. She can’t stand that his glee club is so good and people are noticing. She wants to be top dog. But this week the script was so clever and she had so many great lines that she simply stole the show which she can do quite easily. I love this show as do a lot of other people, and I hope it continues with the same quality of writing it has up to now.