Two new fun and interesting Fox series

I just watched a preview of the new Fox show – “Unhitched.” It’s written by the Farrelly brothers, so I knew before I began watching that it would be crazy and funny . . . and it is. It’s about three guys and a girl who are back on the dating scene after breakups and divorces. Craig Bierko seems to be the main one of the guys, and Rashida Jones is the girl. She’s so funny and quick and very pretty. She acts like one of the guys, but still does her thing with dating new men. She also was the attorney for two of the guys with their divorces. She’s very good. In the preview clip I saw, Bierko says the first five minutes of the first episode starts with a bang before 5 minutes are even up. He actually said it was more like an orangubang as there was an orangutan, belonging to his date, who became involved with Bierko quite intimately for a few surprising seconds. It was very funny and just what you’d expect from the Farrelly brothers. I watched the first two episodes, and I never knew just what crazy antics would occur. I loved it! Now I’m waiting for the series to start. It’s good to have a television series by the Farrelly brothers because that means you don’t have to wait for their next movie. I found out that they wrote and directed the “Seinfeld” episode “The Virgin” which was hilarious. That makes them even better in my book. They can be very gross, but it’s a “funny” gross that leaves you laughing. I think “Unhitched” will be a hit.

I’ve also been watching “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.” I have never before watched that sort of television or movie. I never watch movies with cyborgs, armor, spears or robots – I like dramas or comedies where everyone wears everyday clothes. But this one sounded interesting so I tuned in. I didn’t know the back story not having seen any of the other ones that I thought were sort of weird. But Sarah is getting to me and I’ll continue watching. Sarah has a son, John, who is going to save the world in the future from all the cyborg takeover, and Cameron, a cyborg from the future who is made up as a teenage girl. These two women must keep John safe from the ugly cyborg who keeps appearing in different strange outfits until John is older. Definitely not my kind of show! But I’m getting caught up in it and will keep watching. The two actresses are very good – especially Lena Headey as Sarah. I have no idea what strange things will happen next, so it’s fun to watch. I don’t even know what’s happening when it’s happening, but it’s exciting!

The other day in the freezing weather, I decided to go to my hardware store and buy a new filter for my furnace. I’m using so much electricity and my electric bill is going up as we speak. I thought maybe a new filter would help. I also called the electric company and asked if I shouldn’t be turning the heat down to 60 at night as it takes so long to heat up in the morning. She asked how high I kept the heat, and I told her 72. She said I should keep it below 70! Is she kidding? I asked her how come the electric bill goes up every January – where are all the cuts that were promised after the ENRON debacle? So she says that was a long time ago and there have been cuts. Apparently I must have been asleep when that happened because every January they add more reasons to raise the rate. Since I was wasting time talking to her, I headed to the hardware store.

It was so cold that I took two hand-warmer packets that you shake and little particles inside the wrapper heat up and stay hot for hours. I put them in my pockets and away I went. I got the furnace filter and then stopped in a market right across the street from the hardware store. Each time I go in, there’s a big stand-up sign on the floor that states: Piso Mojado. I always think it means someone just pissed on the floor. So I finally asked the produce man what it meant. He mumbled something about wetness, so I told him what I thought it meant. He laughed and agreed with me. “Caution! Wet Floor” is the actual translation I found upon checking. So why don’t they just say that? It doesn’t make me feel too secure when I go through the produce section with Piso in the back of my mind. And what if I slipped and fell in it? I came home and my hands were still warm from the hand warmers. In fact, they stayed warm well into the night. How do I know? Because I was still clutching them after I turned my heat down to 60.

So I took the front panel off the furnace and put the new filter in, but I couldn’t get the panel back on like it had been. There are four screws to put in, and I did get three in but the fourth didn’t seem to match up with the hole. I was standing on a stool, trying to look in the hole with a flashlight and then match the screw to the right place. I’d drop the flashlight on the floor, get off the stool, pick it up and get back on the stool. Then I’d drop the screw driver on the floor, get off the stool, pick it up and get back on the stool. I worked on it a very long time. I wondered why I didn’t have a man around who would do those things for me . . . and then I remembered. I finally quit working and left it with just the three screws fastening it. Some day I’ll try again.

By then I was exhausted, so I sat down with a glass of wine to relax. I imagined myself back on the pond in my rowboat, relaxing with no worries of screws in the furnace or piss on the floor. But a dress in a rowboat? What was I thinking?

“No Flutes for Me!”

I used to have cocktail parties during the Christmas holidays – one a year. I did it for only about 4 years, but they were fun while they lasted. One year I hung a string of little red Christmas lights around my breakfast bar -- all over the shelves that hung above the bar -- so it looked like a festive bar in a club, or so I thought. Actually, it looked like IHop with decorations. Anyway, it looked good to me. I decided to serve only champagne cocktails. I don’t know if I had any other liquor on hand that night, but I had plenty of champagne. I had learned how to make them from my son-in-law, Mark, so I was ready to break out on my own. But champagne cocktails take a little work to put together. It’s not like you throw a shot of booze in a glass, drop in an ice cube and away you go. No, you have to make preparations. So I bought a bunch of champagne flutes which I never again used after that night. In fact, most of them I gave to some relief agency that was looking for blankets and coats for the homeless in the cold, winter weather but got champagne flutes from me instead. Maybe that’s why I can’t get anyone to pick up stuff here anymore. It just keeps piling up and no one ever comes to get it. And I never see any homeless people on the street drinking from my champagne flutes . . . but I digress.

So I was all ready for the party. I had plenty of hors d’oeuvres, champagne and flutes. What could be better than that? Well, as people arrived, I made each one a champagne cocktail, but it took me quite a while to do it. I had to put some sort of sugar cube in the flute along with bitters (what is that anyway?) and stir it. Then I’d add the champagne and twist a lemon peel over it and drop in the glass -- or something like that. Anyway, it took me a long time to do all that, and people kept coming and waiting for their cocktails. I spent the entire evening trying to keep up with everything. I think at one point I ended up sitting in the kitchen sink by the bar. But that might have been another party which was actually a very fun party. Yes, that one was a good party. The evening eventually ended and I decided I should have hired a bartender to do everything, but I couldn’t afford a bartender. And I couldn’t afford to have parties anymore, so that was the last of my holiday festivities.

It was just recently I came across this picture from a bunch that Teri bought at a flea market in Manhattan. I don’t know who the woman was, but she obviously knew the right way to have a party. You sit down and get comfortable with friends, no fuss or muss and no clean-up afterwards. You drink champagne straight out of the bottle! She looks like she’s enjoying herself, and why not? You know what she’s thinking? “No flutes for me!”

Clothes Line Trivia . . . and Toast

I have always had a thing for wash hanging on a clothes line. My mother used to hang our clothes on a line in the back yard. I even helped because I can remember using the clothes pins to hang the wash. You don’t see many clothes pins anymore. When I got older, I started taking pictures of washing on the lines when I had my camera with me which actually wasn’t too often, so I don’t have many pictures. But I saved them and found some the other day. I have pictures from Manhattan, Connecticut and even Victoria, BC. I was seeing a Canadian hockey player for a while and would visit him in Victoria. On one of my trips, I took quite a few photos of wash hanging on the line. I think he thought I was crazy, but that’s not unusual. But when the Hockey Puck (that’s what I called him) came to Portland to see me, he never saw any wash on the line. We all had dryers. I’m sure that was a big disappointment to him. Maybe that’s why I haven’t heard from him. The bottom picture on this blog is of Canadian washing. It looks just like our washing, doesn’t it?

The top picture is one I snapped from my television when our local CBS news was showing crazy happenings in certain places. This took place in Toluca, Mexico, and it was a 29-mile long clothes line full of wash! How wonderful is that! I was so excited and happy I got this shot of it. I think they were trying to break some record in the Guinness Book of World Records. I don’t know if they did, but they sure gave it a good try. I only wish I could have been there.

Now I want to write a little about Toast. The other day my friend, Diane, and I tried a new restaurant in SE Portland that I had read about in the paper which sounded very interesting. It’s on SE 52nd Avenue and Steele. It used to be a porn shop called Angie’s Bad Ass Video, but it’s been transformed into a restaurant called Toast. They have pictures of all kinds of toasters on the walls and two actual toasters – one from the early ‘40s and one from the early ‘60s. The entire atmosphere was warm and welcoming. After being seated, we were each brought a little peanut butter scone which was delicious. We then ordered a glass of wine and checked out their menu. I have never before seen such unique titles for entrees. They were great! I had The Occasional Hedonic consisting of a tart filled with caramelized onions, scrambled egg whites (I asked for egg whites and they were nice enough to do that for me) and hollandaise sauce on top of everything. It was to die for! I even asked if they made the tarts there and they did. They make everything there. The tart was much more satisfying than a Bad Ass video would have been. I know I’ll be going back – it’s right across the street from my dentist which is quite handy. I think I’ll go after my dentist appointments when my teeth are all clean and shiny and I need something to get my mind off of my dental bill. But I’ll go back even without a dental appointment.

Slickety Slack on the Railroad Track!

I spent New Year’s vacation in Los Angeles at Teri’s house with Teri, Mark and Harry. They now are living in Manhattan but wanted to check in on their LA home that has not yet sold, and I wanted to check in on them. It was wonderful to see them, and we started the holiday off Friday night with champagne at friend William’s house with Sally and David who are good friends of Teri and Mark. I’ve met them before and love them both. From there Sally, David, Teri, Mark, Harry and I went to dinner at a very good restaurant whose name I, of course, can’t remember. It took a while for the food to arrive and we consumed much wine while we were waiting. David and I bonded over “Seinfeld” as he likes it like I do. We discussed different phrases they use that everyone knows . . . one special one is when Elaine is all excited over some news Jerry has just told her and she says, “GET OUT!” and shoves him in the chest, sometimes actually knocking him on his back! I could have gone on all night like that, and I think David was egging me on. We both agreed that “Seinfeld” is like comfort food. But the night came to an end as did I.

Sunday we took Harry and his friend, Moritz, to the Lazy J Ranch in the Malibu hills for two nights. The road up through the hills was horrible! It’s like you could take a long piece of pipe cleaner and twist it into little S curves all the way down the pipe cleaner. The road was like that – one S curve after another up the hill. And it just went on and on. We finally reached the camp and dropped the boys off. You couldn’t pay me enough to go to a camp like that in the hills, but then I don’t have to, do I? After we dropped them off, we headed up to Santa Barbara. I had never been there before, and it is a beautiful city. All the old Spanish architecture is something to see. We stayed at The Upham Hotel & Country House which is the oldest, active hotel in continuous operation. They had their 100th anniversary in 1972. They took me to the Mission there which was very beautiful and awesome. That night we had dinner at the Biltmore Hotel. I’ve heard of it but never imagined I would be seeing it and eating there. It was very exciting and the building and grounds were gorgeous. The food was pretty good too.

Monday, New Year’s Eve day, we drove back to LA and began preparing dinner for Teri and Mark’s New Year’s Eve party. I helped as much as I could and Teri prepared a fabulous dinner. The hors d’oeuvres were so plentiful; they could have been the entire meal. But she also had roast pork loin, a spinach dish that was out of this world and I made my special dessert which was chocolate cookies (oreos) and whipped cream all mixed up together. The table was like something out of a fancy magazine – candles, napkins, wine glasses, etc. It was really pretty and not at all the way I eat at home with a spoon and a paper napkin. But it’s good for me to see how the other 97% live. Teri wore a vintage dress she bought here in Portland one time, and she looked darling in it. I had not brought any fancy clothes (do I even have any? No, I don’t). So Teri gave me a gold jacket that I wore over my jeans. But it was scratchy and very warm, so I decided to put on the t-shirt that Harry bought for me when they were at Fire Island. He had gone running through the store yelling, “Grandma would love this!” And grandma does love it – on the front it says, “It’s not pretty being easy.” Everyone seemed to like what it said. When the guests arrived, William came with Ruth, his dog, and David and Sally came with each other. Sally had on a wild dress with stiff, black netting that stuck out and made it hard for her to get through doors and sit down. But it was lovely! In the above pictures are Sally and Teri, standing by the stove, and Teri and Mark by the dinner table.. We had champagne and wine with dinner and then toasted the New Year. We watched Dick Clark on TV bring in the New Year in New York, and we all made comments, one of which was why is he still doing that? No one came up with an answer. We discussed New Year’s resolutions and they decided on more sex and less work. I said some sex . . . or maybe any sex . . . whatever. It was a very fun evening.

New Year’s Day, we went up again to the mountains to pick up Harry, but we took a different route that wasn’t as curvy and scary as the one we originally took. From there we went directly to the airport where Teri and Harry caught a flight to New York and I caught mine to Portland. Mark flew home the next day.

I talked to Cindy who spent the holidays with her two college boys – do I call them men now? – and her ex-husband. She had no cell phone as one of the boys/men had it and they also had her car. I guess after this weekend things will be back to normal for her . . . as if that will ever happen! We talked of going back to visit Teri when they get a permanent place – we’d go together so we could have a sorority meeting and discuss new business, old business, any business. The last time we were together back there was right after Teri had Harry, and Cindy and I dragged her out for a night on the town. It was snowing and coming home I fell in a snow bank and they just kept on walking. Can’t let that happen again. We had a good time though.

I used to say “Slickety slack on the railroad track” when I was excited or saw something really cool. I think I made it up myself – would anyone else make up something like that? I still say it occasionally, and Harry heard me say it once and has never forgotten it. It even came up when we were with Sally and David. I think they liked it and are probably saying it themselves as I’m writing this. I certainly hope so.